Thanks to the big news on the Slackpage front…and then a tech disaster suffered by an old friend who implored me to help, last week was by far my busiest in literally years. I got so overloaded and stressed that I actually missed a dentist’s appointment (very uncharacteristic) and only volunteered 4 days.

I have a system for adding new advertisers which while a little cumbersome, is efficient and organized. The images go on the sidebar first…and then into “who’s new,” and “all natural” if they have no implants. Finally…a quick mention in the “roundup,” appropriate placement on the sidebar…and I’m done. Getting those images is where my lack of control takes its toll.  Continue Reading

New York City is a big place population-wise. The odds that you would randomly run into somebody you know are remote – or maybe not. I learned otherwise when I became a cabby. Within a week, I either saw or picked up everybody I ever knew. It’s difficult to be anonymous even in a city New York’s size.

So I was riding up 3rd Avenue a few days ago on my way to one of the new advertisers when I hit a red light at 35th and 3rd Avenue. I don’t know about you guys…but I check out virtually every woman I see in the street. (It’s involuntary and I assume I’ll do it till the day I die.) To my left and crossing behind me, I saw an average-looking black girl out of the corner of my eye. She wasn’t anything to write home about…nobody anybody would want to pay for. She had kind of a funny duck-like walk – ya know – feet pointing to 10 and 2 (on the clock) and a sway-back sort of thing going on. Not a sexy girl. As this woman crossed the intersection I of course turned to check her booty – which was nice and round and solid-looking. She had that going for her at least. And then it struck me! Schmuck! It’s Suzie (fake name). You slept with her like 25 times! Continue Reading

Here’s one thing that always mystified me: Why do newspapers and tv networks consider murder and mayhem news at all? Do people really want to read all this shit when there are so many more important news events to consider? Well, we all know the answer to that. And nobody more so than THE DAILY SNOOZE, which never met a reader ignorant enough for their tastes.

Exactly what the fuck is wrong with the people who run that rag? Case in point…an article that appeared just yesterday in which the Snooze reported that a corrections officer was selling ass on Backpage. Not only did the paper name this woman…but it included several pictures from her ad as well. One of the three co-writers is a guy who wrote a landmark book about behind-the-scenes realities in the NYPD. He was once a serious investigative reporter until he got with the Snooze. Now he’ll apparently do anything for a buck. Continue Reading

Among a few other things, new customers is what I live for. With them comes a chance to validate the value of advertising here not to mention putting a few bucks in my pocket. And occasionally, I actually meet somebody new and exciting (often, new clients are people I already knew opening new places).

Referring back to this week’s beg news, I don’t see this entire Backpage thing being that big of a deal. I mean…they have a dating section…and a massage section where virtually the entire mess has migrated. But the girls don’t see it that way and haven’t factored in that the guys are scared and staying away for the moment as the reason for the fall off rather than what I see as no change at all in the advertising landscape.  Continue Reading

Among the many people calling me in the past three days is a longtime acquaintance who’s been a phone girl at virtually every quality Korean incall in the city. And during our conversation, Carla (fake name) revealed that she’d been working at a Chinese joint called GFE ALL STARS where from 30 to 40 guys a day were attending to do the girlfriend thing at the budget rate of two hundred smackers per hour. Knowing nothing about the Chinese scene (I haven’t run an ad for a Chinese person in years), I had to inquire. Continue Reading

As you might guess, my phones rang more yesterday than they have in the past month. Girls I haven’t spoken to in literally years called up asking “remember me?” seeking advice on their next move. As if this is that big of a deal. I mean…if Backpage banned you but nobody else, that would be a problem. But everybody lost Backpage. Everybody’s in the same boat. No competitor has an advantage over another. Continue Reading

Wow! That’s about all I have to say about that! I can’t tell you how many times rumors of BACKPAGE’S imminent demise have come and gone. And now finally, the fat lady has sung on the embattled website seemingly once and for all. They’re crying first amendment rights and reaching out for advocacy groups to fight on their behalf. But after the US Congress blasted BP for promoting underage prostitution and trafficking in a hearing just yesterday, the boys finally folded up the adult section.  Continue Reading

Not everyone is in favor of the LGBT movement for equality. But lesbian porn? That’s another matter entirely. PORNHUB has just published its yearly search totals, and the results are on the revealing side. I’d have thought stuff like “big tits,” “phat booties,” or “deep throat” would be the leaders. But guess again. Number 1 with a bullet is “lesbians!”

Yup! Internet viewers watched almost 6 billion hours of x-rated movies on Pornhub alone last year and that lesbian thing is what interested almost everybody most among all countries and genders. Not exactly a surprise for me as I have a confession to make. I’ve used (among others) the search term “lesbian” at times though generally (but not always), I put the modifier “black” in front. So I guess I’m a mainstream dude in my way. Continue Reading

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this: I’ve been an avid New York Giants fan since 1958. Like many of those 58 years, I’ve seen every minute of every game this year. I know the Giants – which is why I know this is our last game of the year. There’s no way we can win today. Here’s why:

1. ELI MANNING – I don’t care how many Superbowls he’s won or what a good guy he is (which he is). Eli is the most unelusive quarterback in the NFL. Dude is slow as molasses. He’s also an inaccurate thrower. Always has been. And his specialty is serving up pick sixes. Occasionally, he has a good game. I don’t picture it today. He’s due for some typically lame Eli plays. Continue Reading

It’s late and who wants to leave the house or wait for a girl to arrive when video chat with this and many other girls is just a few seconds away? Check it out! And every time you hit the refresh button, you’ll see a different girl. Or click the girl’s pic and the sound comes on.


When I dig into the archives for something to republish, it’s always music business, cab business or how the escort ad business works type stories that seem worthy. All the ubiquitous gossip and complaining about old girlfriends and clients seem infantile at this point. So anyway…here’s one describing what my life was really like back when the Voice, Press and New York Magazine were in full swing. Continue Reading

The art of a man putting himself in a situation which affords him the opportunity to convene with attractive women is hardly a recently-innovated pursuit. Take my cousin Paul who became a dance teacher to be around beautiful women. And ask yourself this: How many guys learned how to play the guitar so they could join a band and hopefully have women clamoring for their attention.

And that’s all well and good until we arrive at Judge Tim Parker of Carroll County, Arkansas. That’s not to say he went to law school and became a judge to score chicks. But apparently, that’s how it came out in the wash just recently. Parker stands accused of using his position to swap sex for “get out of jail free cards” (so to speak) with women willing to barter in that realm. Continue Reading

Often, men of a certain age can be found trying to recapture their youth by dating much younger women. I don’t happen to be one of those men. Yes, I’d like to recapture my youth. But with a 19 year-old girl? Somehow, that makes me feel older – not younger! And one experience from 15 years ago might be why.

At the time, I was working 14 hour days selling ads to a myriad of clients for a bunch of publications and websites. And one place in particular had become my playground. In exchange for ads that cost me little or nothing, a long time customer/owner would barter sessions with the girls. In fact, it wasn’t me who initiated this business deal. In essence, what she paid her emplyee to see me was substantially less than what she would have paid simply purchasing an ad the boss needed anyway. Continue Reading

imagesWith all the Asian massage places in the Big Apple, it’s a wonder that any of them can keep their heads above water financially. So given all the competition, what’s the formula for success in the KMP world? How does that actually go? Well, I’m not exactly sure but from what I can deduce, here it is (and not necessarily in this order): Continue Reading

bubble_pin_pop_Small-262x300Here’s an interesting post from a year and a half ago written about a girl who turned out to be a major thorn in my side recently. Just a little play-by-play on a total loser. 

While I’d have to give the Korean community a GRADE OF A for punctuality of payments, I can’t say the same for Americans. Just for example, one place who used to advertise here insisted on paying me at 1:30 AM even when they had the money all day, citing some silly superstition which dictated it’s bad luck to pay anybody at any time except the end of the shift. Like…what the fuck is that?!?! But really…that’s not bad compared to this week’s episode. Continue Reading

Ask yourself this. What would a convicted felon and a lutheran pastor have in common? You’d be surprised by the answer.

So yesterday I was down at the soup kitchen washing dishes side by side with John, a lutheran pastor who volunteers every Friday. John is one of my favorite people in the place. He’s at once very worldly, hip, personable and wise. You can seamlessly segue from a humorous anecdote to a serious discussion as well as from the rinse to the wash sink.

The subjects for discussion can vary from how much bleach to use in the rinse sink…to when we should drain the water because it’s getting dirty…to his once interviewing Gloria Leonard for his radio show…to Donald Trump…and really to anything you might think would be off limits to a man of the cloth. Continue Reading

In yesterday’s post, I related never having visited an incall until at age 46, I was hired by Action magazine full time and dispatched to visit and partake on day 2 of my employment. But while that was the truth, I was certainly no stranger to lap dance parlors. On the invitation from a girl I met at a party to I come visit her at her place of work (which was the Melody Theater), I was introduced to the venue and pretty much became a veteran of what they called the Mardi Gras scene back in the late ’70’s and early 80’s. Continue Reading

Two nights ago while watching THE KENNEDY CENTER HONORS, I couldn’t help but ponder a harsh reality that bonds MARTIN LUTHER KING, JOHN F. KENNEDY and BILL CLINTON, all of whom were featured prominently in the presentation. What could a poor black man from Georgia, a super rich white man from Massachusetts, and an Arkansas cracker have in common? And then I got it! Continue Reading

While many of the people who perform the ownership and advertising functions in the escort business found their way to that unique station in life by first being a consumer in the equation, that was not the case with me at all. In fact, I’d never been to an incall in my life before I scored my full time job at ACTION MAGAZINE.

To make a long and boring story short (I’ve already covered this in detail), I became a cab driver…then a columnist who wrote about my experiences behind the wheel for a taxi paper…then an erotic writer/pornographer for many publications…and finally, a full time writer/salesman for Action. Continue Reading


Predicting which independent girl will make a lot of money – and which won’t is a very inexact science. It’s sort of like knowing whether the stock market will go up or down on any given day. Hard to say! It’s not always about the size of body parts – though that clearly has a lot to do with it!

Three of the intangibles are phone demeanor, attitude and personality. Guys call a ton of ads. If a girl knows how to answer the phone and entice the customer…that’s half the battle. Yet so many women I know suck on the phone and just don’t get why the guys don’t come in. Whenever I hear a girl say “The phone rang a lot but the guys didn’t come in” all I can think is I did my job – and she didn’t. Honey! I give you the hot leads and then you have to close the sale. Escort biz or no – the fundamentals of service and sales still apply. Continue Reading

I just had the displeasure of reading all manner of Dollar Bill gossip on a review site or two. Somehow, I’d missed all of it until a person I won’t name decided to spread the news to a place where she’d been fired. Assuming that at least some of the blog’s visitors read any of that madness, let me clarify.

First, my back injury came from a bike accident and not a beatdown at the hands of my Korean clients. I can’t begin to imagine how that bull shit started. Here’s what really happened: My front tire hit a discarded piece of litter as I was negotiating a turn on the East 10th Street ramp going over the FDR to the park. When I reached out for the railing to brace the inevitable fall, I was in a vulnerable angle and suffered a compression fracture in L3 as a result. Anybody who has enough money to bet against this? Just email me and I’ll produce the records from Mt. Sinai and Pain Management Specialists and relieve you of your money. Continue Reading

I used to get a kick out of STEVE HARVEY until I heard his rant about people who don’t believe in God. Then I knew he’s and idiot and I can’t watch him anymore. But that’s not today’s subject. Today we address the age old question “does size matter?”  Apparently, some women on THE FAMILY FEUD (which Harvey hosts) think it does…and have let their points of view be known via the spontaneous and unfiltered answers that often make the show such a success. Here are my two favorites. Check it out! Continue Reading

Working as an escort is not the world’s most dignified occupation. It’s not the work itself that makes it undignified. It’s the circumstance that unless you’re really organized and gorgeous, a girl tends to perform her task with some people she finds totally repugnant. Therein lies the disgusting part. So ya gotta figure that if you go for this deal, the reward is to be flush with cash on an ongoing basis. And in fact, I’ve known some girls who were. But precious few unfortunately. Continue Reading

Raise your hand if you know anybody who’s traveled to STANDING ROCK in support of native Americans. Now imagine that I know no fewer than four people who have made the voyage. This is not a coincidence. It’s part of being in the volunteer community. Apparently, dedicated volunteers put their money (of which many have very little) where their mouth is and go full on in support of people in difficult life circumstances.

The volunteers at the Catholic Worker don’t just feed the homeless. Some tend toward the radical fringe as well. Take their attitude about UNICOR for example. They don’t like it. Anybody know anything about Unicor? Continue Reading

Today, a blast from the past with a little extra added at the end. (NOTE: THIS IS AN OLDIE! I DON’T SELL BACKPAGE ADS ANYMORE!)

A couple of days ago, I had what is rapidly becoming a rare house guest: a new client who wanted to come to “the office.” The “office” is in actuality a studio apartment in the East Village close to overflowing with magazines and musical instruments – and a comfortable bed to sleep in. Plus…there’s a big easy chair for a guest to settle into, and a mac with a 20″ screen for doing what we have to do. That’s the office wing. Continue Reading

I believe it was the summer of ’77 – or pretty close to it. May through the first week of July I was in some crappy four piece band playing at Grossinger’s and the Nevele, both legendary borscht belt hotels no longer in existence. The pay sucked…but the room and board were pretty good…the country air (as now) was to my liking…and most of all, the girl singer was red hot!

I knew if I busted a move on her successfully the other guys would get jealous and fire me. They had the transportation and the PA system – which gave them two big trump cards. But I didn’t really care. They were half-assed provincial players. And while I liked the gig well enough, it was only because of the girl I even took it in the first place. You get the idea.

So predictably, when I started sleeping with the girl, the band gave me the boot and I was back home in the New York heat and admittedly, somewhat heartbroken though more about the girl than the job. Nothing had changed there. But not to worry. Three weeks later I was back on the road for more pay with a band somebody had actually heard of. Continue Reading

Has anyone ever noticed that many of the foreign-born escorts in New York are of the mature variety? And that if you want a girl in her twenties or teens you have to go American? Ever wonder why that is? There’s actually an explanation for this phenomenon. And it lies with the tastes of our men – versus the tastes of foreign men. It goes like this:

Many cultures outside the USA are even more youth-oriented than ours. Once a girl hits the age of say…25, she’s already used/damaged goods and considered over-the-hill for this business. Guys with currency of the realm are not interested in buying their services. So what’s a girl to do? Answer: Go to a country where men aren’t so hung up on youth. And that country is AMERICA! A while back I broached this subject with a forty-something client from Brazil who explained to me that 16 year-old girls litter the nude beaches in Rio. They’re all over the place vogueing, preening and selling. And that’s what Brazilian men want. Once a girl is 21, she’s already too old. Hence, the mature girls come to New York to earn dollars, which they send back to Brazil where they’re valuable. Many end up building houses and/or buying buildings in Brazil with the money they make here. And this is why we have “The Million Brazilian Cotillion” in New York. Continue Reading

the-girl-next-door-522358754574fNo, I’m not talking about the woman you see in the street whose occupation you’d never guess. I’m being literal here. This girl lives next door!

I reside in what I’ve often characterized as an egg shell reno job type building. Five floors…eight studio apartments to a floor…no doorman…an elevator…and laundry in the basement. It’s clean and functional; that I can say for it.

But as you’d imagine, the soundproofing in the dry wall partitions between apartments leaves a little bit to be desired. (It’s one good reason why I call the building an egg shell reno job.) As such, I’ve been subjected to Nate (my next door neighbor) singing along atonally with Stevie Wonder at the top of his lungs…Melvin whose snoring I could hear…and somebody who I called Bigfoot, because it felt like an earthquake every time he came home. Continue Reading

student_kink_goupNo…this isn’t going to be a story about me and my kinky sexual predilections. I’m normal and totally boring. Nobody’d want to hear about me. But I ran up on a couple of freaks today whose kinks are so noteworthy…I just have to share.

The first was an e-mailer. She answered one of my clients’ ads asking how much the place would charge her and her son together for a session. Wow! That’s a little strange. I responded as I usually do on behalf of my customer: “Call the place, I’m the wrong guy to ask.” Continue Reading

19375263-drawing-of-a-nun-in-her-habit-stock-vector-nunIn the context of this blog, we think of “under the radar” in terms of escorts who don’t advertise and rather, earn their living via word of mouth. If a girl can operate that way, it’s obviously much more discreet and safe. She’s much less likely to be discovered by the wrong person – or arrested. But that’s not the kind of under the radar I’m talking about today.

At the Catholic Worker, there are a variety of volunteers most of whom don’t immediately reveal what they do for a living. And so…you work, talk and relate with people for a common purpose (feeding people) without knowing anything about them save how they deal with fellow workers and guests…and how efficiently they perform the menial tasks that define volunteering at this particular place. Continue Reading

tv7Being famous for being famous is a 21st century phenomenon which defies logic. Yet there it is front and center…undeniable in all its incomprehensibility. PARIS HILTON invented it and as it turns out, American escorts are all in. And so they’ll audition for any reality show in a blind quest to be seen and heard.

I’ve witnessed this on a number of occasions. Like literally…four that I can think of right off hand. And in three of those instances, the girls made complete fools of themselves for all the world to see. It’s painful to watch, actually. Continue Reading

d219dc432a4e725ae6de407443a11892I’ve often wondered why the fuck I ever started this blog in the first place. I mean…it’s such a masturbatory endeavor. And it’s always been that way. Making money wasn’t the goal at all (I was doing fine as an advertising agency). Ventilating my frustrations was the true impetus.

So eight years later, nothing much has changed as far as my wondering why I continue – especially at this point in time as I’m so severely constrained as to how I run the blog and what I can and cannot say. But last night, I finally found out why I continue – or even started to begin with. Continue Reading

urlHere’s a beaut from the days of yore. Ya think I got in trouble for this one? Oh, boy! And how!! It hadn’t been published for two hours before I got a call from the home office telling me that the entire Backpage staff had read this.

Once upon a time, an enterprising poster could really let it all hang out on Craigslist or Backpage. I used to write slugs like “the snow’s all gone but the Poonjab Princess still needs a good plowing” …or “looking for a hot fireman with a big hose to douse my raging libido!” But boy, are those days long gone. Continue Reading

models-bonnieGenerally when publishing a repeat, I travel back just a year or two to find something passable – as the old stuff is just way too wild for my current comfort level. (I wouldn’t want the wrong person reading – if you get my drift.) Still, I offer this oldie today with the rationale that it has some instructive redeeming quality or other. I stress that this is from many years ago when selling advertising for many publications and websites was what I did for a living.

As per usual in the world of Korean incalls, yesterday’s escort has become today’s owner. It happens all the time. Girls aren’t content with making 5 to 10k per week as an infantry woman on the front lines. They wanna be officers so they can get fragged from all directions! This notion is a little foreign to me (no pun intended). Like when I was a cabby…the last thing I wanted to do was actually own the fucking cab I was driving! Blcccch! But that’s besides the point. The Korean culture is an entrepreneurial one. And a lot of these girls aspire to ownership regardless of the headaches it can surely bring. Continue Reading

stripperNot to worry! Despite the title, this entry will have nothing to do with Russia invading the Ukraine. It’s a joke…and you will soon see why.

I’m not a huge fan of strippers or pole dancing. Or what I should really say is I’m not a huge fan of strip clubs where pole dancers do their thing because dollar for dollar (no pun intended), I view these clubs as a huge rip off. But fuck all that. While surfing You Tube for of all things a Sinatra tune a friend had referenced the other day, I found this jewel from a show called UKRAINE’S GOT TALENT. Yeah, I know. These dumb audition shows didn’t stop at our borders. They’re international now.

So anyway, I took the time to check out this video and I now know why Russia keeps invading the Ukraine. This girl is the reason why. And who could blame that asshole leader (Putin) who just loves to pose shirtless and walk off with Superbowl rings (see old post) if this contestant is at all indicative of what lies within its borders. Get past the first two minutes and enjoy. This girl really is amazing! Continue Reading

talktothehandIn case you missed it, I apparently ruffled a few feathers with yesterday’s post and decided to bury it in the archives not because the people I went psycho on didn’t deserve it – but more because basically, I’m a decent guy who felt a little jewish guilt for the bashing I meted out. Whatever was said or posted somewhere on the Internet to pay me back went unread by yours truly…which is probably a good thing as I’m sure I wouldn’t have been happy as a fly on the wall or a reader of a certain forum.

Whatever…libel and malicious gossip are both a bitch worthy of retribution and my now-wounded attackers can rest peacefully in the knowledge that if anybody’s gonna suffer financially from this battle, it will be me. But when it comes to taking a financial hit, I dare say that I’m not in unfamiliar territory. Continue Reading

stock-footage--wheel-truck-on-the-road-with-sunset-in-the-background-large-delivery-truck-loopable-animationNo, I never actually drove a truck (I don’t have the license and wouldn’t even know how) but there was one point in my life when I found myself wondering whether I was a truck driver or musician.

The occasion for this introspection dates back many years to when I was a “Starlighter” accompanying Joey Dee, a cantankerous little mother fucker who capitalized on the twist craze in 1961 with a hit tune titled “The Peppermint Twist.” The record rated #11 for the year…and combined with “Shout” (a lesser hit as a follow up), Joe was poised to work the oldies circuit for the rest of his goddamn life! And for six months (until I quit), I got caught up in the madness.

Joseph DiNicola was the only road warrior. After a close call on a flight back in his hey day, Joe absolutely refused to fly anywhere…though accepting bookings as far away as Miami, Texas, and Iowa wasn’t a problem for him. Joe just hopped in his van (with band) and drove to the gig!

Around month #4 of my employment, we returned home to play a few venues in the tri-state area only to face the next leg of what seemed like an endless journey…one night in Louisville, Kentucky…two nights in Des Moines, Iowa…and then back home for a few days off. And of course, we would be driving the entire trip.

In the meantime, I’d just about had it with the whole fucking mess. For one thing, the band sucked. Having played with real musicians while backing Musique, Carol Douglas and Stephanie Mills, I wasn’t feeling the hacks in Joe’s band. And for another…we all took turns driving to the jobs…and I knew too many times, guys were one second from falling asleep at the wheel. I wasn’t ready to die on the road. At the time, I had a friend who’d told me that just a few months after leaving Billy Stewart’s band, the entire outfit bought the farm in a car crash when one of the musicians fell asleep while driving. Plus…I wasn’t getting paid enough! Joe wasn’t the kind of guy who split the gig money evenly.

Considering the circumstances, I decided to crack on Joe for a raise. I figured he’d refuse me and that would be that. Summer was ending and I didn’t want his job anymore anyway. But to my surprise, he acquiesced and met my demands…and re-enlisted me for what would be in the neighborhood of 2 hours of playing the bass – and 50 hours of driving/riding. It was at that point that I asked the drummer “Jesus Christ! Are we musicians or truck drivers? This is insane!”

Regardless, the next morning, I hopped the #6 train to Bronx Park East (where Joe lived) and once everybody had gathered, we were off to the Kentucky State Fair where Bobby Lewis, Mary Wells, Bobby Vee and our band would be performing at The Louisville Redbirds AAA baseball facility.

Except for the fact that the stadium had astro turf and the temperature was over 100 degrees on the field, we actually had some fun. For one thing…the band dressed in the team’s locker room, which had a vending machine with Coke, Pepsi and Miller High Life as the beverage choices. I got a kick out of the hand-written sign that limited the players to two beers. Yeah, right! I’m sure the Louisville Yahoos obeyed that rule!

While the sign warning the team not to get drunk in the locker room was makeshift, the ones that said “Do not assault the umpires” were very official-looking. Obviously, triple A players had anger issues and the league didn’t want the boys kicking the umpires’ asses over a bad call.

So anyway…we sweated through our gig and then went back to the hotel to hang out with the Bobby’s! The next morning our vacation was over and it was back to truck-drivin’ Bill. Next stop? Des Moines, Iowa and the Iowa State Fair!

A few things about Iowa struck me as unique. First was the 110 miles of corn we saw out the window once we hit the state line! Yo! They got a lot of corn growing out there! And second, was the wide-open space feel of everything. The first night we arrived…the promoter took us out to a sports bar that was so big there was actually a regulation basket right inside the bar where a dude could shoot hoops in between sips of brew! Try that one in New York!

The sidewalks in town were as wide as 10th Street in New York…and the bathroom in our hotel room was bigger than my entire apartment in the East Village. Clearly, space was not at a premium in Iowa.

The next morning it was off to the fair, a festival complete with ferris wheels and hog-catching contests. Whoa! Click your heels, Dollar! This might not be Kansas…but it was pretty darn close! To the stage to set up…where I discovered why Joe had given in to my demands for more money. He forgot to mention that we would be backing the Chiffons…and knowing that I was the only guy in the band who could read music, he was gonna need me for the job!

What a nightmare. Imagine the sound of three girls singing their hits with nothing but a drum beat and a bass part backing them because the rest of the musicians were befuddled! But no problem! This was commonplace in the oldies game. Bad musicians were always fucking up gigs for worse acts on that circuit!

Whatever…we muddled through the concert which featured not only Joey Dee and The Chiffons…but Rick Nelson (just before he died) and Johnny Rivers as well…not to mention 8000 screaming fans (admission to the fair included the concert so virtually everybody came to watch)!

A couple of go-rounds on the ferris wheel with Joe’s son…back to the bar for a hula hoop contest (which I won)…on to our spacious hotel room…and then up the next morning bright and early to drive the 1000+ miles back to New York. And for the entire trip…225 1985 dollars in my pocket! Not exactly a windfall!

I piloted the last leg from Pittsburgh to the city hoping that Joe would let me drive myself home to 10th Street when we arrived in the metropolitan area. But it wasn’t to be. Joe was a prick like that! Even though I’d done all that driving, he saw no reason for me to not ride 27 stops on the fucking #6 train after riding/driving over 1000 miles from the middle of the country!

After that, we did a few more jobs within 100 miles of home but when Joe decided we were going to drive to Texas for a one-nighter…that was it. No more boppa shoo wop…bop boppa shoo wop’s for me! I was out! Next stop? From the frying pan right into the fire with the fucking Belmonts! But at least with Warren, we flew a few places…like Buffalo, where I thought we were gonna die as we landed in a snowstorm!

Now you might ask “What the fuck does this have to do with escorts?!?!” And the answer is…absolutely nothing! I’m just jerkin’ myself off here. But some guys like the music stories – and it only took me 30 minutes to write this. So why not indulge myself as that’s really what blogs are all about anyway.

hl_dds_0000000000221084Last night after watching the KNICKS squash the MIAMI HEAT, I turned to “on demand movies” and closed the evening with THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS, a film I had seen 27 years ago when it came out and liked well enough to watch again all that time later. To my surprise, there was some content I didn’t consider the first time around.

If you haven’t seen the movie, it stars MICHELLE PFEIFFER as a flatbacker at the TRIPLE A ESCORT SERVICE who auditions for a schmaltzy band and starts working as their singer. Twenty seven years ago that was cute. But now? It rang hollow as in…where are my escorts with talent? I’ve never met one girl who could sing, write, or do anything artistically with anything approaching expertise. Many are good at their jobs. I’ll give them that. But beyond the obvious? So right away, the movie’s a fucking fairy tale, a reality I did not recognize when I was younger and less jaded. Continue Reading