Not being a legend in my own mind, I mostly view this blog as a masturbatory pursuit written in a vacuum. And I don’t really have a problem with that. I’m well aware that my writing and posting something daily is as much (or more) for me than it is for anybody else. But occasionally, I come to discover there actually are two or three people out there in cyber space with so little to do that they come to this site and read what I have to say! That fact I found out in a most gratifying way yesterday.

And no, it wasn’t a gorgeous bird writing in to say “I love your blog. Can I give you a free whatever” (though that would be gratifying)! It went like this:

About a week ago, I ran a tongue-in-cheek repeat about little Chinese ladies at the University Soup Kitchen excusing themselves to go to the ladies room only to stuff full rolls of toilet paper into their bags after they were done…effectively leaving the next visitor nothing to clean up with.  Continue Reading

tanyathumb copyThe girl’s name was Tanya…and she wasn’t half bad-looking. Not somebody I’d want to see in the room mind you, but nice enough to make a good living. Tanya worked as either floor or phone girl for a few different houses that ran ads in the Voice, Press and Action using me as their agent. And so… I got to know her pretty well over the span of a few years.

Tanya and I got along fine. There was absolutely no sexual tension between us. I didn’t want to have sex with her nor vice versa. But she knew I’d been “familiar” with some of her friends and one day while I was hanging out waiting to take photos of a girl who was occupied for an hour, she decided to gossip…comparing notes on several girls we both knew. Continue Reading

Unless you live on another planet or have absolutely no interest in music, you know that CHUCK BERRY, arguably the king of rock and roll, died a few days ago. While clearly a musical genius, Chuck as it turned out was no boy scout in the legal or moral realm.

In his teens, Chuck and his boys carjacked a motorist and then held up two or three convenience stores at gunpoint. That little caper got him locked up in reform school.

Years later, while on the road with his band, Chuck picked up a 14 year-old Apache Indian girl in Mexico…escorted her through the border…put her in full Indian garb…and turned her into a waitress at his St. Louis nightclub.

After they parted ways, the girl was arrested for turning tricks out of a local hotel whereupon she told the police she’d been brought to St. Louis by Chuck and that they’d had sex. For that indiscretion, Mr. Berry served two years (or so). And finally and much later in life, Chuck ran afoul of the law once more when he was caught surreptitiously taping women in the bathroom of his nightclub. For that, he was fined only and served no time unlike with his two previous dalliances. Continue Reading

Before you get the wrong idea here…I’m not talking about sports franchises like the Knicks finally figuring out how to put together anything but a complete embarrassment. This is about attracting the right mix of girls to work at a Korean place so that the house succeeds both financially and socially. And sometimes, the latter can be more difficult!

The obvious part is easy. Be a popular owner so girls want to work for you…fix the place up nice…and locate yourself centrally where the clients work so they can duck out at lunch or before going home for the evening. But when we get to the girls themselves? This is where it can get complicated. Continue Reading

jazmines212-371-0623Often when I run up on cute girls in the escort business who I think should have a decent life (at least financially) but don’t even though they’re plenty hot enough to earn a handsome living, I try to advise them on how to handle their affairs and maintain some dignity while doing what they’re doing. Like with my taxi newspaper employer many years ago, I take them on as projects. I know how to manage my shit – and I don’t see why somebody else who really does earn enough to live well can’t do the same thing. Yeah, right! Good luck with that one!

So recently, I got close enough to a girl who by all rights should be a millionaire at this point in time. But attempting to help her for just one day, I found out in a hurry why she isn’t! Check it out! Continue Reading

Not being Irish and no longer a big beer drinker, I don’t really give a crap about St. Patrick’s Day. But way back when I was a cab driver, it was different. Along with New Year’s Eve, Easter, Gay Pride Day, President’s Day, and Halloween, St. Paddy’s was one of the Big Six for making money behind the wheel. Everywhere you turned there’d be a fare.

I wasn’t that big a fan of driving on St. Patrick’s Day because the parade really wrought havoc with the traffic…and I wasn’t necessarily down with all the drunks. But my friend John was of a different opinion. Continue Reading

My becoming a steady volunteer at a place called THE CATHOLIC WORKER is odd on so many levels. For starters, I’m Jewish. And while I am somewhat spiritual…I’m certainly not religious. Not an obvious place for me to hang. Then there’s this blog. It may not contain the mindless pornography many would assume upon hearing how I’ve made my living over the past two decades, but still…a little off the papal path.

Among the recurring volunteers at the CW are people in the theological community. There’s pastor John (who I call the holy homey because he’s so worldly)…several sisters (and I’m not talking the kind who get a new weave every day)…and a Wednesday group I call the seminarians. They’re college kids studying to become priests. Not quite my element, admittedly. But when there’s a job to do and teamwork involved? There’s common ground. Continue Reading

I don’t like to brag (or hide the fact)…but after yesterday’s post condemning all the label-flashing fashion plates around town, I came to realize my own hypocrisy. In truth, I own and frequently wear a BURBERRY scarf. I’m not sure it puts me in an exclusive fraternal organization with say…Eliot Spitzer (the governor who busted escort services one day and then patronized them the next)…but it is what it is. I’m full of shit! So exactly how did I come by a Burberry scarf you might ask.

It was at least 10 years ago when one of my Korean clients presented me with a Christmas present which turned out to be (drum roll)…a scarf. I didn’t think much of it at the time. I mean…I already had like two or three $3 scarfs I’d bought from street vendors. So what the hell did I need with another?  Continue Reading

If I’ve seen it once…I’ve seen it a hundred times. It’s that pinkish round patch with the white background on half of New York’s winter coats. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was…so I asked one of the well-healed volunteers at the Saturday soup kitchen figuring she would know. And she did. “It’s a CANADA GOOSE jacket. They cost like $600!”

I had a feeling about that. Years ago I remember the ubiquitous NORTH FACE label appearing on half of New York’s winter garb. Even homeless guys had North Face jackets…a reality which struck me as odd not understanding that a myriad of organizations give out winter coats to the needy…some of which are considerably tonier than the K mart coat I wear! Continue Reading

New millennium political correctness dictates that the enlightened among us refrain from making sweeping generalizations about specific races, ethnicities or genders. But even the most liberal would have a tough time not “branding” a certain group if he or she were to volunteer at the University Soup Kitchen. And that group is little Chinese women of a certain age. Personally, I find them more entertaining than annoying most of the time. And last Saturday, the absurdity of their MO went from the surreal to the sublime. Continue Reading

When the Feds decide to bust your favorite pleasure oases, it’s difficult to ascertain exactly whose idea it is to launch the initiative. All you know is that a lot of taxpayer money goes into an effort that rarely pays off financially and in the opinion of many citizens, isn’t worth the effort in the first place. Regardless, if there’s one man who y’all can point to as the initiator of last April’s Korean purge, it would be PREET BHARARA, now ex-US District Attorney for the Southern District. I say “ex” because the president just fired him.

Mr. Bharara was not terminated for doing a bad job. It’s just a matter of course with changes in the presidency. Obama and virtually every commander-in-chief before him did the same thing. Preet’s dismissal differs from all the others only in that he had Trump’s word that Mr. Bharara would keep his job…only to be released shortly thereafter…a circumstance Preet is apparently not in sympathy with. Continue Reading

Raise your gland if anybody out there is surprised by the recent news revealing military men (and especially marines) lusting for and sharing nude photos of their female colleagues online. I mean..let’s get real. You train a guy to kill and you think he’s gonna respect a woman’s right to privacy? A little unrealistic if you ask me.

I seriously doubt that this issue is something new. But now with 21st century technology aiding and abetting, it’s morphed onto a unique format. On sites the likes of MARINES UNITED, horn dogs start threads similar to the ones you guys are familiar with to share revealing photos of female soldiers. The accompanying commentary is about what you would expect: “Let me see them tits!” “Good work, marine!” “You should take her out back and pound her.” Yawn!  Continue Reading

While it’s almost down to the size of a pamphlet now, the world’s most famous alternative weekly was once a 200-some page icon boasting 25 pages of adult advertising. The great majority of those ads were forwarded to the publication by advertising agencies, legitimate LLC’s with offices to which the girls (or guys) would commute to have their ads collated and designed by professionals (rather than the hacks at the paper itself). I worked with most of those agencies…and at the Voice itself…and I can tell you unequivocally that the Voice’s staff ad design was horrible…while the agency stuff was generally very good. Continue Reading

Since time immemorial, show biz has always featured what they called the triple threat. On Broadway and the old Hollywood, the expression referred to an actor who could sing, dance and act equally well. In Nashville (and all music capitals actually), it’s about a musician who can play, sing and write with astounding talent. So what would it be for an escort? And would that triple threat change for a “regular” girl? Give me a second. I have to think about that!

I begin with the latter. For a “normal” woman, I guess I’d have to say, physically attractive, intelligent, and sexually talented (and interested). But what about an escort? Hmm! Big/natural chest…phat booty…velvet orifices? I know…shallow Bill! Or maybe…physically attractive…good actress…sexual stamina. Jeez! It gets complicated! Continue Reading

Just yesterday, I paid a visit to one of the girls on the sidebar who’s typical in the Korean rank and file. Ya know…forty years old without a line on her face to reveal her secret chronology. To be candid, she’s one of my favorite people on this blog. Always nice, prompt, considerate and easy on the eyes. She likes hiking, too (though we’ve never gone together). As with all the girls of the same profession and nationality, Sally is one step ahead of an ankle bracelet.

Moments before taking my leave, the apple of so many guys’ eyes announced “oh, Billy! I’m going to be an American citizen! On March 23rd, I’ll be at a ceremony pledging my allegiance to America!” Somewhat incredulous, I asked her about America’s three branches of government (legislative, executive and judicial for those who aren’t aware) and guess what! She knew them! I was impressed! Continue Reading

Though not the biggest SEINFELD fan ever, I have read a book or two about the show’s phenomenal success and thus came to understand that almost all of the scripts were based on real life experiences in the writers’ lives. One of the many shows conceived in this manner was an episode in which George is on a first date with a woman he wants to romance only to have her casually mention “her boyfriend.” He laments “what is that?!?!” with Jerry later that day.

In fact, many of us have lived this reality. Women who aren’t interested drop the b word frequently to deflect guys with whom they have no interest. We’re used to all this but when it happens to a guy (me for example) not once…not twice…but three times in as many days, it will inevitably become grist for my writing mill. Continue Reading

As Andy Warhol once said…”In the future…everybody will get their 15 minutes of fame.” And he was right. You Tube has afforded all of us that opportunity. But not for me or some dozen or so of my cab-driving colleagues. Ours came from a different source.

I was a night shift type of guy. I couldn’t stand daytime traffic in the city! So my shift was 5 PM – 5 AM. Ripping through the streets of the Big Apple looking for a fare after 1 AM on a weeknight was mostly an exercise in futility. Idling in front of a club or bar was far more lucrative – and easier on the nerves. The science to this pursuit involved finding a bar that most cabbies didn’t know about – and whose patrons took long rides. Like when that big tranny suckhole Edelweiss broke at 4 AM. Or likewise for Flashdancers in front of the Ed Sullivan Theater. But all the cabbies knew about those two spots. Continue Reading

It’s late and who wants to leave the house or wait for a girl to arrive when video chat with this and many other girls is just a few seconds away? Check it out! And every time you hit the refresh button, you’ll see a different girl. Or click the girl’s pic and the sound comes on.

 

Here’s the second in a series I’m contemplating titled “Four Years Ago Today.” No explanation necessary (I hope). This girl barely writes anymore but when she does, it’s always worth reading.

Everybody who reads this blog knows how in awe I am of the girls’ mind-boggling talent when it comes to writing tag lines and copy (yeah, right)! In truth, what boggles the mind is how they ever got out of the third grade! Anyway, I found an ad two days ago which speaks volumes…and here’s how it read: Continue Reading

Not surprisingly, I hear rumors and truths about the April 2016 busts and recent unpublicized follow-up in the Korean community. The girls have thought it through and have pretty much figured out what the charges really are…what crimes were actually committed…and who gave up information. Equally unsurprisingly, none of this gossip comes as a shock to yours truly. Or it didn’t until yesterday when I learned something new. Continue Reading

Here’s one from four years ago today complete with the comments from back then.

Lately there has been some discussion about Korean girls’ hygiene, health maintenance, and the plastic surgeons who augment their bodies. And predictably, we have our doomsday conspiracy theory wackos who would have you believe the girls live their lives in a devil-may-care drug muddle with no clue as to what kind of shape they’re in. My experience is that nothing could be further from the truth – at least as far as Koreans in Korean places (not Koreans in American places) go.

For starters, the girls take like 100 showers a day. Not only are they themselves squeaky clean – but so are the places where they work. Cleanliness is as much a part of Korean culture as smoking cigarettes and gambling. The constant smoke and gambling thing? Not so good! But the cleanliness? Excellent! Continue Reading

Most-Beautiful-Weather-Women-Elita-Loresca-1024x576What could be more boring than the weather? In fact, it’s an old joke…ya know…people talking about the weather when they have absolutely nothing else to say. That or “how about them Mets?!?!”

Well anyway…yeah, the weather is a snore for sure…unless you’re watching the nightly weather report on a Latin American newscast. Then it’s different! The forecast is for a volcanic eruption…an earthquake…and an ensuing flood…in my pants…when I get a look at some of these hispanic weather girls! Continue Reading

If you came by the Catholic Worker yesterday to check me out…you might have noticed my absence. But I wasn’t playing hooky. I had to visit our local IRS office! To some this might strike fear in their hearts. But for me, all this stuff has become routine.

The problem is (without getting into too much detail…and trouble), the agency has been double-billing me to the tune of 700k! I call…I send…yet the bills (with huge interest) keep coming. After waiting 2 hours on hold during a recent phone call, I finally got to the next level only to be referred to someone in New York. Apparently, my situation was above the pay grade of the higher-up who finally got on the line after the aforementioned two hour wait. Continue Reading

Most pop music fans can identify the first tune by which they were seduced. It’s a peculiar phenomenon known to so many: You hear a song…it speaks to you…and you have to buy the record to enjoy that feeling over and over again. For me that song was performed and written by a guy named CHUCK BERRY. Upon hearing SWEET LITTLE SIXTEEN just once, I was hooked on pop music for life.  Continue Reading

Today’s entry has two unrelated titles which really have nothing to do with each other. I just have two thoughts I’d like to share and I just couldn’t find a title to cover both. Whatever…both observations come courtesy of running the food prep line at the Meatloaf Kitchen last Saturday.

Among the six people I had to whip into shape so that 300 guests could be fed in a timely fashion was the niece of a forty-something woman volunteer I’ve come to appreciate. She has a no-nonsense kind of southern black vibe and an appreciation for small favors and consideration. No doubt, the kid is staying with her on a semi-permanent basis because there must be something bad going on down south with mama or why else would this girl be living in Brooklyn with her aunt? Continue Reading

But not the kind you might think on a blog about escorts! GEORGE MCGOVERN was a “peacenik”…and the democratic party’s presidential candidate in 1972. Despite – or maybe because of his history as a World War II pilot, George was against the war in Vietnam and especially – all the US bombing raids. McGovern lost to Tricky Dick and continued his distinguished career in public service while Nixon became a disgrace and embarrassment. But that’s not the happy ending I refer to in the title. Continue Reading

3015343-poster-taxicabsTwenty five plus years ago, the owner of the juke box at the Village Idiot introduced me to a goofy guy at the bar who also drove a cab. And John and I have been friends ever since. Even though he now lives in Pennsylvania, we still talk frequently and will occasionally compare cab stories from days of yore.

Yesterday was one of those days I rung him up (so to speak) and somehow the conversation turned to the dumbest shit we’d ever been guilty of while hacking. Who owned the moron move of the century was about a dead heat. But I liked his story so much, it (and mine as an intro) bear repeating. Continue Reading

MILF copyHas anyone ever noticed that many of the foreign-born escorts in New York are of the mature variety? And that if you want a girl in her twenties or teens you have to go American? Ever wonder why that is? There’s actually an explanation for this phenomenon. And it lies with the tastes of our men – versus the tastes of foreign men:

Many cultures outside the USA are even more youth-oriented than ours. Once a girl hits the age of say…25, she’s already used/damaged goods and considered over-the-hill for this business. Guys with currency of the realm are not interested in buying their services. So what’s a girl to do? Answer: Go to a country where men aren’t so hung up on youth. And that country is AMERICA! A while back I broached this subject with a forty-something client from Brazil who explained to me that 16 year-old girls litter the nude beaches in Rio. They’re all over the place vogueing, preening and selling. And that’s what Brazilian men want. Once a girl is 21, she’s already too old. Hence, the mature girls come to New York to earn dollars, which they send back to Brazil where they’re valuable. Many end up building houses and/or buying buildings in Brazil with the money they make here. And this is why we have “The Million Brazilian Cotillion” in New York. Continue Reading

CANDICE WIGGINS, ex-WNBA star, recently stated in an interview that she cut her career short by two years for a sublimely counterintuitive reason. She was tired of being discriminated against for being heterosexual.

We all know that the WNBA is a predominantly gay league. Most of the women are lesbians – as is a big percentage of their fan base. That fact has been acknowledged for a long time. What we didn’t know is that supposedly, the gay girls didn’t like any dick-loving women in their ranks. Of course, we don’t really know that now. We’ve just heard it from one of their players.

After reading the story, I thought back to recall if I could remember ever being discriminated against for being straight in a gay setting. And via that fleeting thought, I came to a not-so-startling but still significant realization that while selling ads in the she male community, I was not singled out for ridicule for the crime of being straight. In fact, the trannies were very accepting of their hetero sales guy. Rarely was I sexually harassed or even questioned about my sexuality. While I was occasionally treated unfairly (like when a client fired me because the idiots at the Village Voice omitted her ad), it was never because I liked “fish.”  Continue Reading

We’ve all heard the generic medial advice joke: “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.” It turns out that the sawbones who’s been caring for the orthopedic problems of the US women’s olympic gymnasts has his own take on a cure-all recommendation. But his is a little different.

Picture the scene at the women’s training camp for these adolescent girls. They have two head coaches from Eastern Europe barking orders and constantly pressuring them to be better (this is according to the girls’ own testimony). Rarely are they commended for their hard work. But doctor LARRY NASSAR is different. He’s friendly, supportive and essentially, a breath of fresh air for young girls under constant stress. And he’s the guy who tends to their aches and pains which apparently, are many – and threaten to derail their olympic hopes and dreams. Continue Reading

Originally written for SCREW MAGAZINE at the end of the Clinton administration, I offer this gem today (and every Presidents Day) in honor of the holiday. 

So you thought you were the biggest pervert on the planet! Nobody could possibly eclipse your level of depravity. Guess again, fellas! In honor of Presidents Day, we bring you the cold hard facts about the rocket scientists/skirt chasers/drunken debauchers who designed this very republic: Thomas Jefferson was pounding an underage slave…Benjamin Franklin was the biggest horn dog in France, and despite having the biggest joint in The Continental Congress, George Washington never bedded the love of his life. Read on for the details on these outrageous but true historical tidbits! Continue Reading

article-0-0B0C100A000005DC-240_468x454It should come as no surprise that many of the American girls in the escort business have the kind of social life that guys like us can only dream of.  For starters, think of all the variety! And then consider that many escorts like members of both genders effectively doubling their opportunity! Ask yourself what happens when the girls go out clubbing. How many individuals bust a move on them? And then there’s the intramural on-the-job activity the girls have when it’s slow! It just never ends!

A while back a manager I know called me up to say she’d just seen some selfies the girls had taken from the night before. Essentially, a group of 4 or 5 were in a carnal pile satisfying  each other all while mugging for the camera. Nice! Continue Reading

guy-in-suit-with-a-mopAt this point in time, 42nd Street is about as sanitized and tourist-friendly as it could possibly be. And on balance, that’s a good thing. But 30 years ago “the deuce” was a totally different scene. No chain restaurants. No Madame Tussaud’s. Just porn stores, porn theaters, live sex shows and conglomerate emporiums with all of the previously mentioned. And right at the center of it all was the mop man.

The mop man was the guy who cleaned up the mess. Men from all walks of life would cum…and they would go. And he’d be the individual to keep it copacetic! It didn’t matter whether it was a video booth, a one on one booth (with a window in between) a live sex show, or a squeeze-through window. The happy ending was always the same. And the mop man stood at the ready to clean it all up. Continue Reading

General naivete about the business notwithstanding, only the grossly uninformed think escorts suffer from being underpaid. You hear all kinds of news and rumors about trafficking and pimping and coercion and on and on. But rarely is there a news feature claiming that the pay-for-play set earns the minimum wage.

A logical question poses itself pursuant to this reality. What the hell do the girls do with their money? It’s been brought to my attention that the occasional forward-thinking escort actually saves it. But I’m not buyin’ that. If I had one finger for every girl I’ve ever met in the biz who banked most of what she earned, my hand would look like John Pierre Paul’s! (I know. Soooo wrong!) Continue Reading

Lately I’ve been reading some WW II books many of which divulge specific and intimate details about the soldiers’ lives. Of particular interest to me is a) what they ate – especially while in battle – and b) the obvious – if and how they got sex!

It shouldn’t come as no shock to discover that a foxhole is no place for vegans, vegetarians or health food nuts. It was the armed forces job to provide caloric content first and foremost. They weren’t worried about preservatives or high fructose corn syrup polluting the boys’ bodies. I mean…let’s get real! Still, there were some exceptionally odd items included in WW II field rations which boggle the 21st century mind. Like just for example…every ration contained a four pack of cigarettes and sticks of chewing gum. Where’s the caloric content and nutritional value there? Continue Reading

You’ll notice that the past three posts all had one thing in common: the word “hooker.” There’s a reason for that. Usually when I decide to run a repeat, I’ll go back a year or so and begin trolling around for something worthy. But recently, I switched up and searched backwards for the word “hooker” to find three oldies I liked. So I ran them on consecutive days and that’s how that happened. Somehow, searching for a specific word brings better results than simply dialing back the clock.

Moving on…while riding uptown yesterday, I noticed that the bottom bar of my Kryptonite bike lock had somehow fallen off. Ouch! Doubling back didn’t work. Couldn’t find the sucker. And to prove that lightning indeed does strike twice, the same thing happened today with my shitty spare! But the second time I did find the bottom part and could continue on my way.  Continue Reading

hooker2Ever fascinated by words, expressions and their derivations, I happened upon the etymology of the word “hooker” recently while reading a book about 4 female spies during the Civil War (very interesting reading by the way). In the text, the author offers the derivation of the most commonly used slang term for a woman who sells sex.

George McClellan was arguably the weakest general ever to lead American forces in wartime. In fact, several historians claim that had he had any balls at all, the war would have been over quickly and hundreds of thousands of lives saved. After a while, Lincoln had had enough of his pussified leader and fired him in favor of Ambrose Burnsides (whose odd beard birthed the term “sideburns”) and then Joseph Hooker after Burnside lost the Battle of Fredricksburg. Continue Reading

5780pb32f27gp1200gI’m always tickled when in the process of reading some academic tome about an era in American history, I find some clues revealing the history of the world’s oldest profession as a byproduct.

My current book du jour is titled “TRIANGLE,” an exhaustive work which details the run up, main event, and fallout following a huge fire at the corner of Washington Square Park which killed 146 garment workers back in the early 20th century. Continue Reading

NIXON RESIGNATIONAny student of history or person who lived through the Watergate Era is well aware of Richard Nixon’s indiscretions. He perjured himself…he obstructed justice…he sold ambassadorships…he illegally wire-tapped…he paid hush money to keep himself out of trouble…he was arguably a drunk…and on and on. Nothing new there. But what about Nixon and hookers? Let’s get down to the nitty gritty Dollar Bill style!

Nixon was not a guy who cheated on his wife. In fact, to look at him, one might wonder how he convinced any woman to let him mount her. Kennedy or Clinton he certainly was not in that arena. But using hookers to sandbag his enemies? Now that is a different story! Continue Reading