It’s a wrap! If I see one more photo of an escort’s iPhone I’m gonna puke! This new-age reality comes courtesy of the current rage: the selfie! For some odd reason, girls think it’s cool to take a picture of themselves in a mirror with their phone cameras. To this trend I say “Wassup wit dat, girls? You don’t have any friends…or any friends capable of centering a subject in a view finder? Do we really have to judge your physical appearance from a picture taken in a mirror with an iPhone covering your face? Totally wack…or ratchet as they say today!
I look on the Gentleman’s Choice website and inevitably, the worst shots are the selfies. And they always seem to have the signature iPhone in the photo. Do any of these girls think these selfies attract cute guys with big wallets? Hardly! For me, iPhone selfies scream one word: GHETTO! Even if a woman is blessed with the body and face of a $500/hour escort, that picture will knock the price down to a hundred bucks. So girls! Listen up! Get somebody to take your photos – and preferably not with a fucking phone which always gives you a grainy off-color shot. Why sabotage your effort? Talk about penny wise and pound foolish! Enough of that! If some girl wants to blow up her own spot with a dumb-ass iPhone selfie who am I to judge?
Let’s move on to (once again) the kitchen at JONY, where I seemingly get all my inspiration for blog posts. So this time I’m in the hallowed area with 3 or 4 girls…mostly of color…and the conversation trips to All Star Week. Typically, the girls slur their inside jargon either to see if I know what they’re talking about…or more likely…it’s just the way they talk. And me being as old as I am…how would I understand?
So they’re on this All Star Week tip and I’m trying to figure out what the fuck they’re talking about when I suddenly realize they’re talking about NBA All Star Week which is coming up soon…and will be held at MSG and the Barclay Center in Brooklyn. And of course, all the girls want to be part of the festivities which generally means…they’re hoping to bed an NBA star!
I’m befuddled! Why they want to fuck one of these guys is beyond me. I mean…what self-respecting girl would chase a six and a half to seven foot tall tattooed athlete with the body of an Adonis…a 12 inch dick…and a 36 inch wallet when they could have one of a division of pot-bellied, aging dickheads who come to see them on a daily basis? I told you these girls make no sense!
I kid of course. I’ve been well aware that escorts love athletes – especially basketball players. And it’s not just the American escorts of color! A while back an Asian girl whipped out her phone and showed me a shot of a nude Beckham. Apparently, the fetish crosses cultural and racial lines. Chicks like a rich, handsome, big dick athlete. Go figure!
Actually, a Jewels girls works at one of the venues! Talk about a fortuitous second job! She’s black and has a big chest to boot! I fully expect her to be walking bow-legged and in a certain amount of pleasure/pain for a month after All Star Week. I’d be disappointed with anything less! And I say “Got get ‘em, girls!” What’s the point of being young and beautiful if you can’t lie down with a rich stud and live his charmed life vicariously – if only for a few minutes. I’m hoping to hear some juicy stories. I’ll report back when I do!