arrest26n-1-webIt seems like just yesterday an ex-NYPD officer was busted for allegedly running an escort service. And now there’s yet another individual accused of the same offense.

First it was EDUARDO CONEJO back in February. And just two days ago, officer MICHAEL RIZZI endured the same humiliation. I pose the question “what the fuck is it about cops that we’re constantly hearing tales of graft, corruption, thievery and common law-breaking in the rank and file?” Continue Reading

saks-fifth-avenue_couponsLong ago when I sold ads for almost every media outlet which offered adult advertising, I would take the time to enlighten my customers as to which vehicle attracted whom and what. Just for example, I might offer the Voice as an option with the following warning: “Your phone will ring like crazy with everybody from the guy who makes your sandwich at Subway to an Academy Award winner. Your batting average will be low…and you’d better set your price competitively. But you’ll make money.” Continue Reading

041b69add5ff4142bd6f5642412d381cAsk yourself this: How much time would you expect to serve behind bars if a woman you were trying to seduce called the authorities accusing you of sexual assault…and then the police, upon serving a warrant, found xanax, methamphetamine, 5 ounces of weed one of which was packaged in small amounts (the other 4 in a big baggie), and several unlicensed guns in your apartment? Five years? Ten years? Well if you’re AUSTIN RUSSELL aka CHUMLEE from PAWN STARS, the History Channel’s #1 rated show, you’d get probation and no time in prison! Pretty sweet deal I’d say! Continue Reading

It’s late and who wants to leave the house or wait for a girl to arrive when video chat with this and many other girls is just a few seconds away? Check it out! And every time you hit the refresh button, you’ll see a different girl. Or click the girl’s pic and the sound comes on.


800px-independencetownsignI can’t say yet that it’s a trend…but it certainly would make sense if it were. You’ll notice that there are three new independently-operating girls on the blog today. Is it a coincidence? I don’t know but I’ll tell y’all, I’m happy that they called. It’s been a rough patch for the past 6 weeks. First, I got a wave of new advertisers and then BAM!  Hardcore!

There’s one area in which I can actually sympathize with the government. Often, Korean women come into the US on students visas. And the schools in which the objects of our obsession have matriculated to get that visa turned out to be shell operations – and barely schools at all! That’s not so good. Continue Reading

s-l300My Aunt Carol was a remarkable woman. Among many good qualities (one of which was a vast knowledge about all things academic even though she never attended college) was her unique ability to remain young mentally. While my mother rarely related to me on matters of youth, Aunt Carol always seemed to understand. This I have apparently inherited (must have come from grandma because it didn’t come from mom).

The other day I was in the company of a 20 something professional (not a professional who wore a pant suit – if you get my drift). Somehow, the subject of my age came up at which time she didn’t have the typical reaction (which is generally “no way” because I don’t look like a geezer). Rather, there was no alarm on her face but instead, the verbal reaction “you’ll never be old because of the way you carry yourself.”  Continue Reading

karma-quotationI’m on the pantry line at the University Soup Kitchen…or serving a bowl of soup, a cup of coffee and two slices of bread to a “guest” at St. Joe’s. The man in front of me is 103 years old if he’s a day. With cane in hand, he struggles forward to meet up with yours truly.

“What’s up, youngblood? You got your ID,” I ask. “I don’t serve anybody under 18.” A huge smile flashes over the man’s face as he points his finger at me and says “you made my day, brother.” That was my intention. I’ve used this line a few times in the past and it usually does that…makes the recipient’s day. Will I ever be rewarded for my good will? Or is the smile on his face reward enough for me? Hard to say…but check this out! Continue Reading

blog-share-ndWhen I look back at my work life, I realize it can be separated into three distinct phases. First was the music phase…then the cab phase…and finally, the adult ad phase. I can’t say I had a writing phase because I wrote throughout (be it prose or songs)…just in case anybody was wondering.

The taxi phase didn’t simply involve driving for dollars exclusively. I also penned a slice of life column for the taxi paper and sold ads for it as well on the days I didn’t drive (which were numerous. I generally drove three 12 – 18 hour shifts every week which left time for the paper). Continue Reading

lets talk about periods the student's lifestyleLast night as I was watching a special on the history of brothels featured by the AMERICAN HEROES CHANNEL, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of revulsion as the narrater continued to use the word “prostitute” over and over again. “Can we use the term ‘sex worker’?” I thought to myself. “It seems so much more appropriate and accurate.”

The first time I ever heard the expression “sex worker” it came out of the mouth of a Village Voice editor. She was assigned the job of cleaning up my wild prose and proposed using the term instead of another in my article. At the time, I thought it was a weak/tepid description I didn’t want to be anywhere near. Regardless, it went in. Editors have that power. Back then it felt sissified. Now it feels enlightened. Continue Reading

bootyMaybe a week back, I wrote a post about a grainy porn I’d seen featuring a workaday black man and a big-bootied pro who couldn’t help but talk up a storm when she should have been performing a service for which the man was paying an hourly rate. And at the end, I lamented not having the link to post for everybody’s edification.

Well guess what! I found it! So without further fanfare, I give y’all the url. Note that at the crucial moment, the girl stops what she’s doing in favor of gossiping about essentially – nothing! I’d like to say I’ve never been in this man’s shoes. But I’d be lying if I did! Here we go:

hqdefaultAnybody who’s a baseball fan…or a baby boomer…is familiar with the legendary ABBOTT AND COSTELLO routine “Who’s on first?” I don’t need to explain. So yesterday, I received an e-mail from a girl who wants to advertise on this site. Incredibly busy guy that I am (yeah right), I called her within like two minutes of getting the correspondence and here’s how the conversation went: Continue Reading

Rachel-MaddowCosmopolitan women have complained about it for all too long. Some of the best and most attractive men in their locales are lost to them because they’re gay. They figure “OMG! Look at him. He’s gorgeous. I’d kill to have a boyfriend who looked like that. It’s so unfair that he’s gay. What is the world coming to?” I’ve known girls who liked gay guys and tried to convert them. They reported back: “Not happening!” There was even a Seinfeld episode on the subject.

The vice versa (beautiful gay women who guys would want) seems to be less prevalent. Bull dykes would appear to outnumber lipstick lesbians by a wide margin. Is it perception or reality? Who knows? Usually, the hot gay girls are bi and will do guys as well. Maybe that’s it. Continue Reading

main-ingredient-2A blast from the past on the subject of racism…blacks discriminating against whitey (or this whitey) as it turns out.

Thirty or so years ago found me toward the end of my music biz voyage (long since past) and in Selma, Alabama as the only white musician backing THE MAIN INGREDIENT. The act had had some big hits just a few years before and we were on the road doing shows in places like Jackson, Mississippi and Montgomery and Selma, Alabama. Continue Reading

DebbiedoesdallasAnybody ever wonder how ROBYN BYRD became some sort of porn/cable tv icon? Well…the answer to that question is still a mystery to me. But just a few days ago, I found out where it all started when I somehow (while searching for something on the Internet) landed on a reference to DEBBIE DOES DALLAS.

Guys of a certain age remember when the only way you could view porn was on a home 8 mm projector. And then suddenly one day, DEEP THROAT was in theaters. It was an epiphany for viewers followed up with legendary efforts like THE DEVIL IN MISS JONES, BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR and (drum roll) Debbie Does Dallas. Porn was everywhere all of a sudden! Continue Reading

urlOne of my dedicated patrons broke the news to me with a smile: “Guys come in and ask me funny questions about you. They want to know if you’re old or young…fat or thin…and whether I’ve ever met you. One customer even asked if you’re still alive. He heard you died and somebody else is running your blog!”

Whoa! Now that’s a little much. I’ve also been told that my bike injury was really an ass-kicking I received and not a mishap on the road (or ramp as it were). I can’t imagine who makes all this shit up though actually, when I think about it, I have an idea. Continue Reading

largeCall me crazy…or jaded…or whatever! But when I listen to escorts talk about their boyfriends, I take a dim view of the entire subject. It’s not that I think they’re bull shitting and in reality, they don’t have boyfriends…it’s just that I can’t see how any escort can have a functional relationship under the circumstances.

I figure you can break escorts’ boyfriends down into one of three categories. They’re either pimps, cuckolds or morons. Allow me to elaborate. The pimp is a guy who knows how his girl is making a living and doesn’t give a shit. The cuckold similarly knows about her other life but hangs on because he simply can’t live without the girl. And the moron is too stupid to know. Regardless, all three are not viable in the functional mainstream world. Continue Reading

drunk-10While I long ago grew tired of escort stories, I can’t say the same for cabby anecdotes. I don’t know exactly what it is but even the most boring hack can hold me spellbound with the recounting of some surreal event that happened to him (or her) behind the wheel.

Enter my buddy John…now retired from the biz. Though I’ve known him for over 25 years, I still somehow haven’t heard all his ridiculous taxi tales. And lo and behold, he had a new one for me last night. Continue Reading

spyThe apartment across the hall from me has always housed mysterious tenants. It all began the first week I moved in. At 5 AM I awakened to the sound of gunshots. Thinking “I must be dreaming,” I rolled over only to be reawakened 5 minutes later with the sound of multiple police radios. Apparently I wasn’t dreaming. The tenant in 5A had a lover who shot him dead! Whoa! I knew this was a rough neighborhood when I moved in but come on!

The next tenant went nuts a few years later and began throwing all his earthly belongings out the window and onto the street. Then he ran around the building naked and was eventually carted off to the funny farm singing a song of rapture. And it’s been mostly like that since. Every tenant is a gay male…and every once is nuttier than the previous. Continue Reading

how-to-draw-a-cartoon-frog-tutorial-drawingOnly occasionally does an escort (or in this case a phone girl) say something insightful which cuts through the fog that is the escort industry. And in this case, that person invoked a fairy tale to drive home her point.

One of the girls had just escorted a customer to the door and began complaining about the guy two seconds after he was gone. I can’t remember exactly what she said but that doesn’t matter. The complainer continued on to everybody’s boredom when finally hoping to curtail the madness, the phone girl interrupted the banal monologue. Continue Reading

Young happy woman in green fieldConsidering the amount of leisure time I have, you’d think viewing pornography would take up a significant portion of my day. But in fact, I spend more time puttering around on this blog than I do entertaining myself with x-rated material. Having said all that, I still admit to sporting a moderate and discriminating taste for gash. And I found one loop a few days ago that was at once sour and bittersweet.

Basically, the “film” was a one camera job featuring a dude getting busy with a girl at a brothel. It was clear they weren’t acting or pretending. This was the real thing. Just a trick…a ho…and a video camera in a ho house. Continue Reading

Almost everybody has a role model he or she looks up to. For me, it could be Mickey Mantle…or Eric Clapton. And in truth, both were. But little known to anybody but a few cab drivers and me was a role model of a different sort.

His name was Jose and he was a friendly-enough Puerto Rican dude I met at “shape-up” (that’s the period of time you stand around a taxi garage with all the other societal misfits and wait for the boss to dispatch you a cab) down at Victor’s halfway house for criminally insane taxi drivers. Continue Reading

nyk1314_kcd-web-tiles2It was probably 10 years ago that one day my phone rang with Dave, the New York Magazine classified director on the line. “Hey, Billy! We want to reward you for all the business you’ve been bringing us. So I’m inviting you to a Knick game this Saturday. It will be you, my brother and me. Wanna go?” He didn’t need to ask!

The Isiah Thomas version of the then current Knicks was a total fucking embarrassment…even worse than this year’s team (if that’s possible). In the middle of a most boring contest, one of the coaches called time out and onto the floor came the Knick City Dancers. “Aha! Finally something to look at,” I joked. “Cheesecake! Yum!!” Continue Reading

16587_2_sval2I don’t kid myself. This is mostly a local blog. The precious few links which have brought readers here have for the most part been posted on New York sites. So it generally comes as a surprise when I see visitors in the tracking software from places I’ve never heard of – in states outside the tri-state area.

Recently (like after the big bust), I’ve been noticing surfers logging on from exotic places more often than before. Why that is I can’t tell you. Well anyway, last night I checked out how many countries have had at least one visitor come to my daily nonsense in the past 30 days just for fun. And the answer is 72! Continue Reading

rebuildchart2I was looking through Backpage ads yesterday and saw a few familiar faces in an Asian ad or two. Just as I was saying to myself “they’re coming back”…I came to realize by the style of the ad that the poster was a guy who’s infamous for stealing real photos from around the corner for use in his clients’ advertisements. And I couldn’t help but think “why didn’t they get that asshole?” Whatever…I relate this to admonish readers about assuming that the girls have moved to other locales or are back on the scene simply from seeing their pictures online.

My understanding is that any girl (be she room or phone girl) who was involved in the big bust – is still traumatized by the events and either vacationing for real – or home figuring what the fuck to do. Rumors of their return are premature from what I’m hearing. And honestly, I’m not hearing much. No doubt, the feds told them to stay off their phones and shut the fuck up! The threat of arrest, federal detention and eventual deportation is severe enough to put them in a state of catatonia. Continue Reading

I’ve often wondered what exactly it is about female escorts that makes an inordinate percentage of them bisexual. Are they super horny and just want to get down with everybody? Or is it all the competition they encounter working at houses that makes them resolve the conflict by simply coupling up with another girl who has one particular asset she herself wishes were hers?

Whatever…whether a large percentage of escorts are bisexual is virtually beyond debate. After almost 20 years of dealing with the girls, I can say unequivocally that a) I’ve met a statistically significant sampling and b)…that many do have sex with women as well as men. Continue Reading

mobile-aggregator3-300x200It was almost 10 years ago that I got on the phone with the classified director at a certain paper. “Look! I can’t stand this Craigslist shit anymore. It’s a total fucking migraine. We have to make your site work. And I know how to do it. Get one of your employees to go to an Internet cafe and pepper CL with posts which say ‘come to our site. It’s better than Craigslist!’ You’ll get deleted…and you’ll get blocked. And it will be a nightmare. But keep the guy moving around to different cafes and changing accounts. You’ll get through…and you’ll hijack Craig’s traffic.” So impressed with my street savvy were they that just a few weeks later, the paper invited me over to convene with the boss of the new aggregator site. Continue Reading

240_F_64647265_vRHk0eNfwvwNNIdG7wDMozyHMO2IZoGLA lot of people in the adult ad biz would probably tell you that Dollar Bill was one of  the best salesmen in the industry. And if not the best…at least the longest-lasting. The latter? Yes. The former? No way. I was never a salesman. Rather, I was just a schmuck with a personality who was willing to work 24/7. You wanted an ad? I’d sell it to you anytime…anywhere. If you didn’t? Fine. On to the next person who did.

One thing I never wanted to do was sell somebody something that I knew wouldn’t work. It just seemed so wrong to draw a commission for a vehicle that wouldn’t even net the advertiser what they’d spent – let alone enable them to profit from the investment. But I’m not like other sales people. Enter the classified director for a rag called The Spirit. Continue Reading

RUhCU0dENxgMAgMAEQFIJxMeGx0ASDsdFhcTAgYCGkRAWg8CFA==With all the reality shows on television, it would be virtually impossible for one person to watch them all. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day! Plus…who would want to watch all that crap? I mean…everybody knows (or should know) that there’s precious little reality involved and the reason networks are so keen on featuring reality presentation is because the stars command a paltry remuneration while actors like Jim Parsons earn a cool million bucks per episode.

Well anyway…idle losers like yours truly can’t help but be seduced by at least a few offerings in the immense pile of dung. So today, I think I’ll run down Reality’s Greatest Shits just for fun. Continue Reading

2Today is the annual volunteer soiree down at the University Soup Kitchen. I missed last year’s because I slept through it. And I missed the year before because I was in Florida. So this year I’m determined to go. And for one very good reason.

JET BLUE is a corporation whose employees perform 120,000 hours of community service annually. And those employees do some of those hours at the USK. (Just for example, 25 Jet Bluers clad in their corporate t-shirts showed up last week.) The point man for this operation (a guy who actually volunteers frequently) will be giving away 4 pairs of round trip tickets to anywhere Jet Blue flies at the party. Winners will be chosen lottery style. Continue Reading

imgresAlmost everybody in the New York “hobbying” community knows that 11 Korean owners and ad people were arrested two weeks ago in a federal sweep. But not many understand what the defendants are currently – and will be going through – as a result. With a little research, I’ve discovered the mind-numbing nightmare they are now living.

The charges of money laundering and conspiracy are bad enough when leveled on a US citizen. But when you’re an immigrant – even with a green card – it’s considerably worse. For starters, they’ll need a defense lawyer and an immigration lawyer. While they might get lucky and find a guy who’s an expert in both areas, he or she will probably charge accordingly for their expertise. Whichever…they’ll be fighting a battle on two fronts which will no doubt cost them 6 figures if they want competent representation. Continue Reading

I’d like to have a dollar for every time I’ve read a review of an Asian girl in which the guy says something like “she left me alone for 5 minutes for what reason I don’t know and then returned ready for action.”

So exactly what does the girl do in that 5 minutes that’s so important? Well…having been witness to that 5 minutes, I can tell you she brings the house’s share of the money to the manager. Then maybe she’ll talk to her colleagues for a few seconds…or grab a few puffs on a ciggy. Ya know…normal stuff that you might expect.

Anyway…one night back when I used to partake with Asian girls…I found myself abandoned in the room for long enough that I ventured out to see what the hell was going on. Now if a client did this, the house wouldn’t be happy. But I felt as the advertising man, I could get away with it.  So I sneaked out of the room to check it out only to discover that my fiance was taking a fucking dump! Continue Reading

longdongsilverLast night I went into HBO’s on demand library and checked out CONFIRMATION, a new made-for-tv movie about the events surrounding the melodramatic senate confirmation hearings which eventually anointed one CLARENCE THOMAS a Supreme Court judge.

Personally, I thought Thomas was completely full of shit. For me, he was a porn freak who sexually harassed and bullied his protege (Anita Hill) allegedly advising her during business hours that she should check out some porn (especially a guy named Long Dong Silver, who had a 19 inch dork)…that he himself had a big dick (though not the equal of the Donger’s)…and that he admired big-chested women (which Anita wasn’t)…all in some clumsy and ill-fated attempt to seduce her. What a fucking guy! Continue Reading

Indigo-Snake-700Well…yesterday was an interesting lesson in “be careful what you write mindlessly because some people might get offended”…as some readers weighed in on Prince passionately…and the beast I called an insane monster peppered me with endless abusive texts even though I’d changed her name in yesterday’s post.

Y’all take me too seriously. It’s not easy to write something original every day and as often as not, I get a quick idea and then pound it out in literally minutes without a whole lot of thought…and often with no real agenda beyond adding a new entry daily. For the commenting contributors on the subject of Prince…I appreciate your input. It’s all valuable and much more passionate on the subject than I am. As for the beast? Nobody knows who the fuck Sadie is. Get over it. Continue Reading

PercocetSome 25 years ago, an article ran in People Magazine proclaiming long time drug abuser JIMMY PAGE of Led Zeppelin clean and sober after years of prodigious partying. That same week, I picked up a fare in my cab who scored cocaine, heroin and needles for guess who! I believed him because at some point in our adventure, I had to call up to Jimmy Page’s room at the UN Plaza to summon his friend back down. And when a British guy answered and I asked “Jimmy?” he responded “yeah, mate?” He was also playing in New York that week.

Prince was supposed to be drug free himself. But when I heard he died at age 57, I put two and two together and apparently, came up with the right answer. It turns out that according to his dealer, Prince was placing orders for $40,000 worth of various pain killers every 6 months. I used to date an insane monster who was on that crap. But hopeless drug addict that she was, even Sadie (fake name) couldn’t do all that! Continue Reading

1087779In this day and age of ubiquitous pornography featuring huge everything, people are rightfully insecure. The stars in the genre are just so over the top it’s ridiculous! And so…when lovers get together, they try to bolster each other’s ego to lubricate the wheels of carnal satisfaction.

A while back, I had a girlfriend with a great body…but busted implants. God gave her everything except breasts. And the doctor really hadn’t helped that much. As a result, she was insecure about the one part of her body that was lacking…and I was always sure to tell her she had big tits…and they seemed to be getting bigger. And it worked like a charm. The wheels lubricated instantly. Continue Reading

Russian_aircraft_carrier_KuznetsovIt was way before I knew anything about Asian women coming to America for a better life that I was enlightened on of all trips…a road gig with a tired oldies band.

During what felt like an endless six months playing behind JOEY DEE as a STARLIGHTER (he had the 11th most popular song of 1961 – The Peppermint Twist), Joe booked us for three nights at the Mayport Naval Base, just outside of Jacksonville, Florida. The first we played at the Officers Club, a posh, carpeted environment with deadened acoustics which made us sound like musak. Next…the non-commissioned officers club – an environment of which I have virtually no recollection – though I’m sure it was decent enough. And finally on the third night, in a super noisy and acoustically-challenged linoleum-floored cafeteria where we performed for the grunts. Regardless of the music bouncing off of everything and making us sound loud, shrill and just as bad as we possibly could have, those have-not/end-of-the-line type guys who landed in the navy rather than jail or the welfare rolls totally appreciated the show. That was the audience who most enjoyed the band.  Continue Reading

2000x-1200x801Part Little Richard, Jimi Hendrix and James Brown, PRINCE was an icon who many people revered as a genius. But I wasn’t one of them. After his first record (“I Wanna Be Your Lover”), I never bought another one. I’m sorry…his music didn’t really appeal to me. Nor did his bizarre persona.

Many years ago, I was at the Ritz on 11th Street at some music business party or other. I used to attend them regularly back then. As I was scoring a Budweiser in the back while SHEILA E performed, a roar erupted from the crowd. My first thought was FIRE! No kidding! I turned the corner to see what all the fuss was about to discover that Prince had come on stage with his guitar unannounced. And that’s what drove the crowd nuts. I watched for maybe two minutes and retired back to the bar. Maybe the sheep were hypnotized…but I wasn’t. Continue Reading

Being scared.Here’s an oldie from waaaay back!  As I say in the text, good escort stories are few and far between. But this one is an exception. Read on and be the judge!

Every so often (and not nearly often enough) an “escort” tells me a fabulously entertaining story. This month’s best comes from a she male client who sells her wares on The Upper East Side.

It seems she was out one night with a female friend when at 4 A.M., while they were making a purchase in a deli, Alex happened upon what she described as a beautiful  Italian policeman. Thinking she was a female, he hit on her in the store…successfully enough to persuade Alex to give him her phone number. He promised to call around 6 AM when his shift broke and sure enough, at about 6:30, she was awakened by a call. It was the cop and soon he was on his way over for a nightcap. Continue Reading

2014-10-03-WhackamoleNow that everybody’s calmed down about the data base being in the feds’ hands, the next question on dudes’ minds is what are the girls going to do now? I mean…there aren’t a lot of places to work (save spas, a venue they don’t like or they would have already been there)…and I don’t picture them going independent. Here’s what I figure:

It’s not just New Yorkers who fancy Asian women. Over the years, I’ve heard many stories about places in Virginia, Atlanta, Washington, Philadelphia, Texas, California, and even out-of-the way rural places and truck stop stuff. So it stands to reason that just as the girls moved around from place to place in New York…they’ll be moving to other areas of the country to escape what they rightfully view as dangerous territory. Continue Reading