Whether it’s the LAPD and Rodney King…or George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin…or now the Ferguson PD and Big Mike Brown…one thread joins them all. And that thread is that everybody was wrong. A festival of idiots would be three words that could sum up the entire unfortunate event.
Uncharacteristically, the DA in the Ferguson Grand Jury proceeding released 1000 pages of trial transcript just hours after the verdict came down. And curious guy that I am (with too much time on his hands), I read enough of that transcript to get the general idea of how all that madness happened.
On the morning of that fateful day, Big Mike and an acquaintance hooked up to smoke some weed but needed “rillos” (blunts) to accomplish that mission. Hippies use papers or pipes. But in the ghetto? it’s blunts, baby! So they hit the Ferguson Market where Big Mike grabbed a handful of cigars and walked toward the door without paying. The Indian guy behind the counter followed Mike and tried to block him from leaving. Mike pushed him away and exited with the clerk threatening to call the police.
Now you would think that Mike and his homey (named Burton) would run and hide. Or at least that Burton would separate from Mike whom he knew had just committed a crime. I mean…according to his own testimony, he said Mike was more of an acquaintance than a best buddy. Why take the rap for his indiscretion?
But instead, they not only walked home at a leisurely pace, but did so right in the middle of the street! Eintsteins they clearly were not! That or they were just looking for trouble. Although initially, the reports were that the cop who rolled up on them wasn’t aware that Mike had just committed a crime, later reports indicated that the cop did know! Hmm!
Whatever…Burton claims (and I totally believe this part), the officer rolled up on the duo and with a lot of attitude commanded the “Get on the fucking sidewalk!” Burton admits that Mike and the cop got into a grappling match while the policeman was still seated in his car. For the cop’s part, he claimed that he drew his piece afraid that this big kid might knock him out with the next punch, and demanded that Mike back off or “I’ll shoot.” And according to the gendarme, Mike responded “You’re too much of a pussy to shoot!” Now I don’t know about all that! I served on the Grand Jury twice and I watched officers of the law lie on the stand to convince us to indict. So I take all that “pussy” stuff with a grain of salt.
Regardless, there is no doubt that Mike was as irate and tense as he could be. Burton admitted that both men were extremely angry. And within 90 seconds of their initial encounter, Mike lay dead in the street. It all happened that quickly. The crux of the matter lay in whether Mike had his hands up and was surrendering when shot dead – or whether he was in attack mode when the cop shot him in the head twice. A black eyewitness testified that Mike was charging the officer…and that pretty much sealed the deal. No indictment was handed down. There would be no trial. The Feds can file a civil rights suit…and the family follow with a wrongful death proceeding. But the State’s case against the policeman had been kicked!
I call this episode “A Festival of Idiots” as I called the Trayvon Martin fiasco and the Rodney King debacle because once again, everybody was at fault. If you’re Mike Brown and you don’t want to get killed, try not robbing a store. And then if you do rob a store, try running home to smoke your weed. And definitely, do not walk away at a slow pace in the middle of the street – thus defying logic incomprehensibly.
And if you’re the cop, don’t pull up to two black youths and tell them to “get on the fucking sidewalk” with an attitude…when you have no backup and are facing off with a 6′ 4″ 310 pound kid with an attitude as fucked up as yours!
Hey! if Rodney King had just stopped when the cops tried to pull him over, I’m confident he wouldn’t have caught that beating…and half of LA wouldn’t have been burned to the ground and looted in the ensuing weeks. And if Trayvon Martin hadn’t decided to beat the crap out of George Zimmerman for simply asking what he was doing there, he’d be alive.
My point? If there’d just been one level-headed individual in each of these three occurrences, they wouldn’t have snowballed into the catastrophes they became. And that’s my two cents on that subject.
Moving on…a rush of glossary terms came to my mind yesterday, none of which I included on my “Inside Baseball” post from last week. So here again is a now expanded list of terms with which to ingratiate yourself with the escort of your dreams:
1. TO BREAK is a term all escorts use when they see their first customer of the day. So if some girl tells you “I haven’t broken yet”…or “I finally broke 4 hours into my shift,” you now know what she’s talking about. Say you’re a salesman and you’re telling the favorite object of your lust that you were having a bad day. You could say “I couldn’t sell shit yesterday and then I finally broke with some old lady who bought the most expensive sofa in the store.” Guaranteed you’ll get a favorable reaction.
2. A BIG WILLY is not a super endowed guy. It’s a guy who has lots of money and spends it on a girl. So when an escort refers to a guy as a “big willy,” she’s talking about his wallet! Let’s say a girl tells you she saw a guy for 3 hours. You could respond “Oooo! A big willy, eh?” She’ll think you’re down!
3. RATCHET simply means anything low class and bad. “That chick is ratchet” means she’s a skank! If your girl is ragging on some woman she hates, you simply respond “Word up! That chick is as ratchet as they come.” Points, baby. You’ll score them with that!
4. OFFICIAL (I just learned this one) is a way of saying some girl is very attractive. If a chick is “official,” that means she’s certified hot and worthy.
5. MAD is an adjective which generally is a substitute for the word very – or just describes a superlative. Thus, you could say “That chick is mad beautiful”…or “she got mad booty.” She’s a mind-boggler either way!
6. A DOUBLE occurs when two girls are booked at the same time by one guy. If Bertha and Maude are doing a double, they’re in the room with one guy for the duration.
7. RENEGADE – is an adjective describing a situation during which a pimp’s ho sheds her shackles and leaves her slave driver. As in “Where dat bitch Lexus?” asked a plaintive waif from low on G Money’s totem pole of babes. Answer: “She went renegade and now he’s lookin’ to fuck her up,” responded Money’s bottom bitch.
8. Which brings us to BOTTOM BITCH. A pimp’s bottom bitch is his favorite ho in the stable. She gets the preferential treatment. Usually, it’s his biggest money-maker because she’s the best looking of the bunch.
9. FLOOR GIRL – Big places will sometimes have phone girls, managers, maids or kitchen mommies in residence. The “floor girl” is the girl who actually goes in the room with the customers and provides the vital service. The aforementioned ladies are support staff and thus, not floor girls even if they rarely hover in mid-air while they’re working.
10. The TRACK or STROLL – is the street where girls sell their wares. If a girl queries “where’s Porsche?” and someobdy else answers “she’s on the track”…or “she’s strollin'”…that means she’s walking the streets in search of customers. Similarly, a known place where women of this career path congregate would be called “THE TRACK” or “THE STROLL.”
11. TURNED or TURNED OUT – This expression has a couple of meanings. “Turning somebody out” means either a) introducing the girl to a life of being an escort or b) satisfying somebody sexually. Examples: “How’d Mercedes get into the business?” Answer: “Her college roommate turned her out when they both needed money for the rent.” Or “G-note spied her on the boulevard…picked her up…and the next day, she was turned out and standing on the corner. Example 2: Frat Boy Frank tells one of his brothers “I fucked the shit out of that girl at our house party last weekend.” If Frat Boy Frank knew the lingo of the subculture, he would say “I turned that bitch out at our house party last weekend.” Either way, it would be more likely that he date-raped her than satisfied her sexually judging from recent news flashes and what I know about college fraternities and the guys who pledge them.