Murphy’s Law is currently in full effect where the publication of my first eBook is concerned. I got an e-mail from Amazon saying the new artwork and manuscript are now on the site and ready to roll. Cool! But pessimistic and circumspect guy that I am, I figured I’d better check before making any announcements. And sure enough…they did change the artwork but did not post the new manuscript! And so…I sent them an e-mail (you can’t call) and supposedly, they’ll be getting back to me within 24 hours. Terrific!
It occurs to me that I could sell the sucker right off this site…having the buyer submit the payment to my pay pal account…shipping a pdf of the eBook to their email address…and thus bypass Amazon and their middleman fee altogether. And eventually, it could come to that now that I think about it. I don’t picture Amazon actually selling any books for me. Most if not all of the sales would come from this blog.
Well anyway…I figured I’d post a sample today. Ya know…a little teaser…like an LE check or something!
With a fair amount of fooling around in the female escort community – and none of the experts picking up any gay tendencies – that line of thought gave way to “Billy does his own sales, posting on the web and graphic design. He has no office, pays a minimal rent on his apartment, has no car, no fancy clothes, no expensive habits, IS A CITIZEN (most important – these girls want green cards NOT me) and has a lot of customers. Somebody better marry that guy and get her hands on a green card – and his money!” And so….I’ve received many marriage proposals over the years – mostly out of left field. And I say that because they often come from unlikely sources. Ya know…like girls who don’t even know me! It seems so inorganic.
The very first came from a South American owner out in Flushing who offered $7,000 – and weekends of carnal bliss – and a Mercury Montero – if I would marry her hottest employee. And by the way…this girl had a sensational body! I pretended like I was actually considering the deal…and got laid a few times to sample the wares. But ultimately, it just seemed so wrong…not to mention that my lawyer admonished me if we got divorced and the girl went on welfare, the gov would come after me for the payments – pre-nup notwithstanding! It didn’t sound like such a hot deal after all.
Over the years, I’ve been offered up to 25 grand to marry girls! One posed two options: 25 grand – or nothing – but she’d really be my wife – which meant all the sex and love I could handle! I fired back “I thought I was getting that AND the 25 grand. What kind of hustle is that?” It was a joke. I didn’t want to marry the girl anyway.
Another’s friend offered me $15,000 to marry a girl who I have ALWAYS wanted to lie down with. THAT gave me pause. But when I asked my future wife if she’d do a session with me to be Escort of the Month – and to see if she was worthy of my vows – the girl turned me down responding that she viewed me as her little brother. Talk about a boner killer!
And yet another sizzling siren got down on one knee recently to ask for my hand in marriage. No offer of money was involved. Just the awesome spectacle of the female bounty that even a blind man couldn’t have missed! I looked at her quizzically and asked “Why you wanna marry me?” She answered “You nice guy!” She left out “handsome.” No deal! Whatever! It’s a moot point now. CAROL has moved on to the next world.
Despite the rejection, the phone girl fed me this Korean crepe/pancake filled with squash – which she called pumpkin (same family when you think about it). Dipped in the sauce provided on the side, it was totally delicious. I inhaled the pancake (to the best of my ability given that I ate it with chopsticks), sat back, patted my stomach, and then resolved the situation: “I marry the kitchen mommie – the girl who cooked this food.”
The phone girl persevered: “The kitchen mommie’s pretty young. And she’s not married. You might like her.” If at first, you don’t succeed, I guess you just try, try again! Whatever! Given that I’ve at least temporarily sworn off having sex with Korean girls, I don’t see me marrying any of them any time soon! But I guess a girl can dream the American Dream – of marrying a citizen and finally shedding that illegal alien status that haunts so many of my clients.