Gotta shake my head at the news coming from the media that second string New York Knick, DERRICK WILLIAMS, went clubbing at a joint called UP AND DOWN…and got robbed for in the neighborhood of $750,000 worth of jewelry after he took a couple of ho’s from the joint back to his crib. And all’s I can say is “Was this dude born yesterday?”
As a guy who’s been around the block a few times (both literally and figuratively) in the East Village night life scene, I know to hide my valuables before setting out for a night on the town because let’s face it…ladies of the night – whether professional or amateur – have a bad habit of stealing from their one nighters. In fact, after losing a bag of weed to a girl I actually knew, what I used to do is leave dead Walkmen and cameras out for the ho’s to grab if that’s the way they rolled. So how come Derrick didn’t know this?
Well…he’s young…and dumb…and full of cum! And we can pretty much assume that whatever sex he got off the skanks wasn’t $750,000 worth. Can you imagine? What a fucking moron! And get this. The chicks weren’t even black! They were fucking honks! How humiliating does it get? Black Stud Gets Hustled By a Couple of Lily White Club Girls. Now there’s your headline right there.
Of course, the douchebags forgot that we live in an Orwellian world…and that their thieving mugs just might get published all over the Internet courtesy of a security camera at Up and Down. Anyway…all the more reason to go pro, Derrick. That or lock your shit down, knucklehead. This is New York. Not Podunk. Bitches steal. Hello!!!
And guys! If you see either of these sticky-fingered sirens on the stroll? Give them a face full of cum for Derrick…and leave a dead iPod on the night stand for them to vick. Anybody with half a brain knows that.
P.S. It turns out that after further research, I came to discover that Derrick brought home several people…and that those two girls were the only ones he hadn’t met until that night. The rest were “friends.” I would assume that if after seeing the publicized tape, other guys come forward to say that they, too, had been victimized by those two girls…the said ladies are in some deep shit. Otherwise, I don’t know how the police will be able to make an arrest given all the people who were at Derrick’s apartment at the time of the heist.