Can you believe it? I actually had escort “girlfriends” once upon a time! Polishing off this little uncultured pearl from the archives, I suddenly appreciate that I don’t anymore.
First of all…I absolutely hate the expression “at the end of the day” because it has to be the most overused phrase in the English language. People! Could you possibly come up with something synonymous? If I hear one more person say “at the end of the day,” I’m gonna shoot myself. Thus, I propose an alternative: “When it all comes out in the wash.” Much better.
Anyway…(another overused word), courtesy of one of my recent stinkers and her text messages, I came to an “end of the day”/”when it all comes out in the wash” moment last night I’d like to share today.
We all know that when escorts’ boyfriends and their professional counterparts (da goils) have a romantic union and then a breakup, he always tells her something along the lines of “you’re just a fucking whore anyway.” It never fails…trust me. But there’s another side to that coin. The girls have their own take on the situation.
To illustrate…here’s a part of just one of last night’s text messages that says it all: “U pervert owe me thousands for sexuall favors, me a legend, a diva. U a nobody, a dush!” First of all, what the fuck is a “dush?” Whatever…I love when escorts decide they want to bill their ex-boyfriends retroactively for all the sex they got free thereby proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that what the boyfriend said in parting (whether he even said it or not), is exactly what she is “at the end of the day” – or “when it all comes out in the wash.”
The same individual had yet another oh so revealing assault on my masculinity. In a voice mail message, she made fun of me because I’m not even good-looking enough to sell my body. Really! No sale, honey. You’ve been fucking me on and off for 10 years. And you don’t like ugly men with bad bodies. I must have one hell of a personality. And what makes you think I want to sell my body in the first place? Stop projecting!
Ya know…I’ve had acrimonious breakups with women from all walks of life. But the last two have both eclipsed all the minor leaguers in my past. These girls are incredibly evil and vindictive. Where does all that anger come from?
I guess “at the end of the day” (and “when it all comes out in the wash,”) I’m just a dirty trick who gamed up and got over. And reconciling that twisted perception is driving them to distraction. What do they say? You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube? Haha! How’s that for an appropriate mental image?