No, I’m not about to tell y’all that I don’t belong with escorts. I’m way past that stage. So anyway…I have several t-shirts bought for me by an old “girlfriend” which I’ve never worn. And last week while I was rummaging through my closet to see what I might give away at the soup kitchen (yes, they give away clothing as well), I happened upon these shirts many of which still had their H & M tags on them.
Well today I went visiting and stuffed the t-shirts in my backpack to see if maybe I could swap them for something else in the store. Without the receipt I didn’t figure I could turn them into money…but with the tags still on the apparel there was a possibility I could get a store credit.
Into the fancy shmancy joint I strode with back brace around my waist, and bike helmet in my hand. And I instantly knew I was out of my element. The great majority of the patrons were either chicks or gay guys…and maybe a few handsome model type chic metro dudes sprinkled in the mix.
Sure enough, the clerk gave me a credit and off I went to the men’s section to find something I might like. Fat chance of that! Everything looked more or less like what you’d see at a gay bar or a golf/country club. Which is to say…there were no baseball caps or t-shirts which read “fishermen have longer poles.”
I don’t have to tell y’all that it was a struggle. Anything that looked like I might wear it cost twice to three times what it would at K-mart and somehow, I couldn’t bring myself to get ripped off swapping something worth so little and priced so high. What to do!
Finally, I found a leather belt for $17.95 to replace the $2 model I bought on a street corner and am currently wearing. Will it last 9 times as long? Maybe…and maybe not. Does it look better? Yeah…but I never tuck my shirt in so nobody is ever going to see it anyway. What’s the point?
Happy that I found something I could wear, I hit the cashier – still with money left on my credit and cleared out of there ASAP. I’m not sure I’ll ever go back again. I hate shopping in the first place…especially when I’m shopping in a place that’s out of my element.
Whatever…I do have to admit one thing. One of those t-shirts she bought for me does look really good when I wear it…so it made the rotation. And whenever I put the t on, girls check me out! So maybe…just maybe…I should step out of my element occasionally because of the obvious! If stepping out brings compliments from hot girls, I’m there – or at least, I should be. But really…give me K mart and a bait and tackle shop and I’ll be good. It’s just where I’m most comfortable.
P.S. It is now almost 3 years since I wrote this entry. The belt is still good to go and will be no doubt for years to come. And while I still have a $15 credit at the store, I’ve not been back since.