As promised two days ago after writing TOP 7 REASONS TO BECOME AN ESCORT, I will now feature the yang of that yin (or vice versa – not sure) with today’s TOP 7 REASONS TO NOT BECOME AN ESCORT. Yes, everything I wrote in the last entry had a “true that” component. But as I mentioned, there’s always a price to pay when you sell your soul and so…here goes with all the negatives to making the big bucks, meeting lots of guys, and getting tons of sex.
A CRIME AGAINST NATURE – Not sure if this should be first or last on the list but for no other reason than it came to mind first, here it lies. Women of our species are programmed by nature to not let just anybody enter their nether regions. The mind needs to be stimulated whereupon the message goes southward to lubricate the vagina in preparation for entry. There’s a certain pain/pleasure principle involved which dictates the privileged man who’s allowed entry must know the combination to the brain/vagina lock. Letting just any Joe blow shove it in there for money is a crime against nature. Really, women aren’t programmed to roll that way. (What enables them to buck nature is a subject for another day.)
DANGER – Being a ho can be a dangerous profession. There’s no denying that fact. Men are generally bigger and stronger than women and obviously easy prey for a freak who has her naked and alone in a room – even if you’re working in a house. You can get hurt or killed before anybody comes to your rescue. Working for a mysogynist corporate boss who pinches your ass and says lewd stuff all while paying you a pittance clearly has its downside. But the likelihood that you’ll be hurt or murdered is decidedly less if you go the mainstream route.
FIVE OH (NO) – Believe it or not, providing the world’s most desired service is against the law in many places on our planet, the good ol’ US of A being particularly repressed when it comes to people selling their bodies for another’s pleasure. Thus, not only do girls have to be constantly vigilant when it comes to weeding out dangerous customers…they have to be equally aware of police officers trying to arrest them. Nobody wants to get arrested and obviously, you stand less of a chance if you work the counter at Mickey D’s than if you flatback it down at the local motel.
DISEASE – If you’re careful and don’t to all that GFE stuff that has become so popular, disease transmission can be kept to a minimum. But rubbers break. And even if they don’t, guys come in with germs. And if you work in a house where everybody breathes the same air…smokes the same blunt…and girls routinely work with a cold, you’re gonna catch more stuff than you would at a square job.
SEX WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE UNATTRACTIVE – This goes hand in hand with the crime against nature admittedly. But having sex with a disgusting guy…or just a guy who you find unattractive is gross. Who wants to do that? Nobody. But you signed on and it’s all part of making ten times as much as your skill level would dictate in the “real” world.
CRAPPY BOSSES – True, crappy bosses are everywhere in the employment world. But if you really want to find a guy or girl who truly doesn’t give a shit if you live or die…try working for an escort service. There’s one every four inches. Hey! It’s a seedy, illegal business. Rarely do enlightened types embark on ownership.
SEXUAL HARASSMENT/INTRAMURAL VIOLENCE – It’s not bad enough that you’re fucking ugly, fat, women-hating slobs all day. Your boss – or his or her security guard – might want to fuck you, too. And if you work at a house, girls are gonna hit on you – or just hit you. Ho’s can often be bisexual and violent! Girls are equally prone to approaching you sexually – or smacking you in the face over something trivial. Intramural violence is real with sex workers. I hear about one girl assaulting another frequently. Even with Koreans who you might consider less prone to that sort of activity.
COMPETITION – The competition can be fierce in the escort world. Who has the biggest tits? The Phattest booty? The deepest throat? The tightest pussy? In a house, the competition is obvious. But even with independent girls, they’re constantly spending big money on peals, surgery, make-up and an endless parade of costly stuff to stay one step ahead of the next girl. It can wear a girl down!
ALL THE LYING – Escorts often feel the need to have a boyfriend. And most of those boyfriends (or even husbands) don’t know that their women are sleeping with multiple partners – because there’d be hell to pay if they did! And so…escorts are forced to lie 100 times a day to keep the secret. Applying the theory that one lie needs 20 more to substantiate the first, a ho finds herself lying almost constantly to keep the edifice erect (couldn’t resist). Being a compulsive liar is an ugly state of affairs – and an inevitability if you choose to be an escort.
STIGMATIZATION – Even if you work with an air of responsibility and dignity – and truly strive and succeed in satisfying your customers, the great majority of people will pinch their noses and call you a ho when they find out how you grind out a living. It’s really a rough row to hoe – so to speak. Get used to it. The stigma isn’t likely to change anytime soon. Everybody’s just too jealous of all the tubular titillation that comes your way.
STALKERS – No woman likes a stalker. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen all that often unless (drum roll) you become an escort. Then it’s more likely than not that at any given time, there will at least one guy who’s making you uncomfortable with unwanted/borderline psychotic attention. They’ll hang on your stoop. Call you a hundred times a day. Threaten to tell your people what you’re doing. Fun, fun, fun. Regular guys can be assholes. Tricks? Even worse!
Ok! I’d better stop here because actually, I’ve already enumerated eleven reasons! Whatever…you get the idea. Becoming an escort is not a decision to be taken lightly – even though it generally is! There are a lot of potholes in the road – or hidden rocks in the channel (choose which metaphor you prefer). Life on the edge appeals to some people – and not to others. Regardless, be prepared to live life on the edge if you sell ass for a living. Because that is what it’s going to be!