My life is hardly the bed of roses some people think it once was. I can’t travel outside of the US – and have to ask permission to move around within its borders. The probation department can come visit me anytime they see fit. And I have to pee into a cup in front of a stranger the third Thursday of every other month. If I have an active and varied sex life, I dare not talk about it here. I’d hate for anybody to think I’m anywhere but purgatory currently.
On Saturday, a reasonably cute and young girl at the soup kitchen wanted to go hiking with me on Sunday. She lives in Queens, has a car, and was specific about the details of how and when we’d meet up the next day. She had also volunteered with her bull dyke girlfriend, who looked distraught as my prospective date leaned in and hugged me goodbye.
So what happened? She stood me up. After putting her correct phone number onto my contact list, she simply went AWOL. Was I broken-hearted? Not really. But disappointed that I wouldn’t get to hike Storm King Mountain, a journey I’d never undertaken because it isn’t near a bus or train stop? Yes. Oh well. Why the girl chose to jerk me off like that I can’t explain. All of her verbal and body language was positive. And I didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe she was just trying to make the GF jealous – or establish that she’s not just gay – but has an interest in men as well. All at my expense. What did I do to deserve that?
In the meantime, another girl in my life had gone AWOL herself. She’s a domme and an escort and thus, not necessarily somebody I would count as a constant. But still…do I have a disease or something? Can I catch a break here?
Monday at the Catholic Worker, my favorite catholic noted “You’re a cranky fuck today. What gives?” In response, I ventilated about people who won’t face a situation like a grownup and choose to avoid you rather than “manning up.” Like that douchebag editor at the Daily Beast who loved a proposed article…had me write it…and then went AWOL without explanation. Or incalls who would tell me they weren’t going to advertise next week and didn’t need me to post whereupon I would see their ads the next day placed by my competition. Or this volunteer who so wanted to go hiking with me and then wouldn’t answer her phone after making plans. You get the idea. I wasn’t in a good place.
Figuring it couldn’t get too much worse, I took a chance after returning home and called the arbitrator who will determine my case with the IRS. The paperwork is very specific in its indication that I don’t owe any more money. Yet as noted, I’ve been going around and around for almost a year with several different people.
The woman answers her phone and in a chipper voice asks me how I’m doing (we’ve spoken before). To which I predictably respond “I’ll be doing a lot better if you finally understand that I don’t owe y’all any money.” The answer amazed me. “I’m working on the abatement right now. My supervisor has signed off on everything.” A light shone from above – and the angels sang! It’s virtually over. Somebody at the IRS finally realized that I don’t owe them any more money!
On a roll, I decided to email the domme/escort rather than text her – a pursuit that had met with silence. I had her email address but couldn’t find what I’d previously sent her because it was sent from an account I rarely use. Upon discovering the lost correspondence, I sent her a message. A response came back within 30 seconds. She has a new phone number and actually, so do I! We’d been texting each other on the old phones and she was wondering where the hell I was!
All’s well that ends well. We met up…and had some unprofessional fun. Only drawback? She loves CARDI B! But on another upside, the girl confessed to “stalking” my blog (odd phraseology for simply reading this website) and liking the writing style though clearly, she wasn’t in agreement with everything I’ve said (like Cardi B being an embarrassment).
Whatever…all in all…things are looking bullish for a change. That is today’s message.