And it ain’t BHAD BHABI (gag). But it is somebody just as egregious (if that’s possible). Her name is CARDI B, and her first release has just topped the Billboard pop chart.
Reading the blurb on Yahoo’s homepage (which has become the defacto Internet New York Post), and seeing her overdeveloped chest (thank you doctor), I decided to click the link and listen to the current #1 record in the country.
Not only is it the worst piece of shit ever…but the girl who raps it has to be about the lowest role model pop music has ever produced. Quickly (so I don’t puke), Cardi grew up in the South Bronx…was a gangbanger…and had a job in a downtown fruit market but got fired and then recommended by her manager to a strip club owner. There she shook all her fake body parts (might not have been fake then – just not as big)…became an Instagram model…danced in a couple of rap videos…and got herself on a VH1 reality show. Then she dropped out of school…got a record deal…and now has the #1 record in the nation. And no doubt, every lazy, worthless, undisciplined spoiled, hood rat brat dreams of following in her footsteps. And I know exactly where most of them will end up. One guess as to where!
Cardi is currently taking the music business by storm as a feminist rapper, a hype which in some part led me to listen to her hit. I was curious to see if there’s any substance to her beats and rhymes. The following is what passes for feminist rhetoric nowadays: “I’m quick, cut a nigga hustle,” “Said little bitch, you can’t fuck with me,” “Honestly don’t give a fuck who ain’t fond of me,” and on and on.
Clearly, Shakespeare she ain’t. And feminism it isn’t. This is just more ego rap – only done by a female rather than a man. It’s as old as the genre itself (the rap genre) which curiously did not begin with ego raps. It just evolved that way – to this observer’s chagrin. I’ll say one thing in Cardi’s defense. Checking the fine print, I came to discover that she didn’t write her own rap. Four dudes did it for her! This is an exception to the rule. Rappers almost always write their own rhymes. The fact that Cardi didn’t speaks to the reality that she is indeed a manufactured product. And I might add that this opus is on (drum roll) Atlantic Records. Not only is Ahmet rolling over in his grave…I’d bet he’s puking in it as well.
Again, maybe my being an old fart enters into my opinion of Cardi’s product. But the fact remains that she sucks out loud. Her tits are fake…her ass is fake (both by her own admission)…and she’s a fake. Where do you think she’ll be five years from now? Flat on her back with a bad trick nauseating her to the core…with BHAD BHABI doing a double by her side. At least in a perfect world.
One more thought to end on a positive note: ATLANTIC RECORDS must have one prodigious promotion machine in motion if they can make this steaming pile of excrement into a number 1 record.
Here’s our virtuous icon now:
P.S. I have now watched some You Tube videos of Cardi being interviewed and have come to the conclusion that she’s simply a party girl with an IQ of about 80. Essentially the Kelly Picker of the hip hop world. Cardi even admits that she did the record to make money so she could stop stripping. I can’t imagine that this girl could ever hold a job in the real world. She’s not really hateful. Just profoundly dim. Perfectly suited for the strip club.