Years ago when the Village Voice was the big deal in adult advertising, the paper had an ever-morphing policy as to how much the advertisers could and could not display in their ads. (Bear in mind that any 5 year old could wander to a street corner and pull the publication out of a red box free-of-charge to look at the pictures.) And of course, no bare breasts were allowed!
But a lot of the photos submitted to the Voice’s #1 advertising agency/supplier of adult ads and revenue (Somad) were bare-breasted! What to do! Drawing bras with a pen on the actual hard copy of the picture was one way. And painting or drawing a bra on the scan of the photo in photoshop was another I know I used!
But what finally happened is that Somad discovered a bizarre piece of software that actually enabled the graphic designer to place a bra on a bare-breasted model! Yup! You summoned the bra from the software (and there were several types) and then adjusted the size, tilt, color and whatever else to fit on the model. Personally, I found the software to be deficient and about as convincing as a girl with no breast tissue who’d opted for 38DD implants. Which is to say…anybody could spot the bull shit from a million miles away. Still I wondered “Why would anybody design such a bizarre piece of computer software? I mean…how many people needed to put a bra on a bare-breasted photo?”
Whatever, now that December 26th has arrived, it’s two down and one to go with the old holiday festivities. You can tell how much I just love the season, right? Really, life goes on unabated and mostly unchanged for me holidays notwithstanding. But back when I sold the Village Voice and other print vehicles, I absolutely hated this time of year what with early deadlines which made my life virtually impossible to navigate. Thankfully, I don’t have that stress anymore. And that’s a good thing. The bad thing is I don’t make 650k a year like I used to. Oh well!