Love and physical attraction have neither rhyme nor reason. If years of experience have taught me one lesson, there it is! And nothing could be more in evidence within my social world.
Down at the Catholic Worker (where I’m about to exit in favor of the senior center around the corner), the love mess is in full effect. A sort of cute little fire hydrant of a muslim girl and an old, rude asshole have fallen head over heels for each other. He’s almost twice her age and clearly a huge loser. The house does have a couple of residents who are much better-looking, much younger, and much friendlier than her object of affection. The union makes absolutely no sense on paper. Yet, there it is. Nobody can figure out why.
Then there’s another girl: tall, blonde, thin and actually good-looking though a tad on the dronish side. She thinks the dude for whom the muslim chick has fallen is completely without any appeal and herself has the hots for some guy who has zero interest in her. She’s a new wave punk rock type. He’s the type who can actually read and write musical nomenclature. Why the girl likes him is beyond any rhyme or reason. Yet…you know the rest.
Switching from the volunteer world, I see the same phenomenon in the escort arena. A particular girl I know is currently choosing between two boyfriends. One gets high all day and lives with his grandma. No job and no prospects. The other is an old drug-dealing boyfriend who has dumped her many times and will no doubt do the same thing if she goes back.
Of course, there are a fair number of tricks who might like to be her love interest. I actually know one. He’s a decent guy with a pilot’s license and owns his own airplane. The man once confessed to me that he can’t go in the room with this girl anymore because he’s falling for her and knows it can’t ever happen.
So I pulled her aside one day to say the obvious: Lose the hood rats and get with this guy. He has money and a personality. She looked at me as if I were crazy and said something to the effect that she wouldn’t want to be seen in public with him because people would know she was his sugar baby.
OMG, honey! You are a desperate, dysfunctional mess of a working girl. This is the guy who could save you! And yet you’d rather be with a grandmama’s boy or a gangsta/drug dealer? See what I mean? No rhyme nor reason.
Now, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t include myself in the madness. I am so old and in-control of my emotions that it would be really difficult for me to fall into the trap. Yet I cannot deny the primal pull of a certain girl who is half my age, of Caribbean descent, sniffs blow (which I don’t), smokes tobacco (blecccch!), and doesn’t really have the perfect body. But still…..
Clearly, there is no mathematics to love. Nothing adds up. None of the verses rhyme. And nobody has any reason in the process. It just happens inexplicably. And hopefully, somebody you fall for falls for you as well. That’s really about all you can hope for because laying it out on paper and reasoning through the process is about as productive as trying to grow crops on the moon.