Yesterday while searching through You Tube for what I can’t remember, I somehow arrived at a bunch of videos detailing the various signs and body language that would indicate whether the girl you’re cracking on is interested in you. Most of the observations were fairly intuitive (like if you’re chatting up a girl at a bar and she turns to her friend and mouths the word “loser,” you might consider moving on). Still there were a few things I found enlightening in all those videos.
Now I could figure if a girl begins fingering or licking her lips while you’re talking to her, that might be an indication she’s interested. But it never occurred to me that if the same girl begins playing with her hair – and especially twirling it (assuming she has enough hair to twirl) that’s a sure sign she likes you. I don’t know about that. It seems to me hair-twirling could be a sign of boredom. But several videos cited the same thing. Which would lead me to believe there might be some truth to the theory.
One video broached an odd indicator. If a woman dangles her shoe off her toe during verbal intercourse…she’s thinking of having the other kind with you! Hmm! What would be the psychology there? I guess she’s subconsciously picturing your tumescent organ throbbing its domination in preparation for a conquest – one to which she would be more than receptive. Makes sense to me.
In my own experience, I’ve found it relatively easy to determine whether the woman I’m approaching displays any interest. Eye contact, body positioning and such are sure indicators I never needed a lesson interpreting. My problem was not reading the signs. It was getting the positive signs I sought.
And now to an anecdote or two. My old cab-driving buddy John is a moron of the first order. Of that there’s little doubt. But he is a self-professed body language master. And he’s not shy about sharing his opinions.
Many years ago we were drinking at Hogs and Heifers. I approached a girl in a friendly manner…not really trying to get laid. She was simply in my proximity and we were in a bar. So hey! You get the idea. After just a few minutes of conversation with her, I dismissed myself to return to my buddy. I don’t like leaving friends alone in favor of a girl. I’m just a good guy like that.
The first words out of John’s mouth were “That girl was really into you”…something I hadn’t noticed – probably because I had no interest in her. But still I asked “How do you know?” John: “Didn’t you see her touching her hair and neck while you were talking to her? That’s a sure sign.”
John wasn’t always so reassuring. In fact, he was mostly the kind of guy who’d rain on your parade if he thought you were doing too well (why I eventually stopped going to bars with him). So anyway…I brought him along to a casita in Queens where I was to collect for an Action ad. One of the two floor girls was coincidentally a woman I could have married for 7k and a new Mercury Montero (one of her employer’s ideas). John knew about the prospective arrangement but hadn’t seen the girl and wasn’t aware he was in her presence.
After we left, I joked “So what did you think of my fiance?” Finally figuring out which girl was the one I had a chance to marry, his response was “That’s the girl they want you to marry? She’s 100% not interested in you!” Whether he was just being jealous or not would be hard to tell. But his admonition did not fall on deaf ears. I wasn’t really going to marry her regardless of his opinion – or whether I thought she was into me or not. But John’s observation was relevant.
I can say that with the few women in the escort business I had something meaningful (and I use the term loosely), I knew in the first 30 seconds of meeting them that they were interested in me. I could just tell. Unfortunately, they were too few and far between. Or maybe fortunately – when I think about it. Romances with pros are mostly doomed to failure and dysfunction.
The most fertile ground for studying all these signs lies in my Saturday volunteer gig. Most of the new people come through New York Cares and often, they’re on the lookout for social hookups. It actually makes sense. How do you meet a decent person in New York? A bar? Not really. A dating site? Not so sure. But a volunteer gig? Bingo. If it has occurred to somebody that giving back to the community might be a cool thing to do – and a way to expand your social horizons – that could be a meaningful individual.
Well first, I have a sort of scarlet letter with the 30-something Asian girls who tend to be the cute women there. But they’ve mostly gotten over that. What I get from them is zero body language indicating any interest. If I do get any positive feedback, it’s generally from women of color. And I do notice that the positive feedback I receive is generally from girls closer to my age. Which would be ok except I don’t think I would have been interested if we’d met 30 years ago.
Whatever…I see that I’m rapidly approaching 1000 words here which the readers’ body language is telling me is too much. Over and out.