On many occasions in the past, I’ve described my dislike for Florida, a state I have visited way too many times in my life considering how I feel about the place. But when mom, dad, and my brother all moved there – and I worked with several bands which had gigs in the Sunshine State – the reality became unavoidable.
I never quite “got” why anybody would want to live in Florida. It’s hot, flat and beachy. For a guy who likes it cool and mountainous, Florida just ain’t for me! Then I did my income taxes this week and suddenly, I know why jews retire to Florida.
It turns out that for 2017, I paid $4,225 for the privilege of living in NY, NY, a city from which I derive not one cent in income. Many years ago, a friend of mine moved to Nashville when his accountant informed him that the money he would save not paying state income tax (which Tennessee doesn’t have) would more than pay his mortgage on a sweet home in the area. Given that his songwriting talents lay in the country western realm, Otis made the move.
With this memory intact, I researched income tax rates in the various states of the union after sending off payment. Yes, Tennessee has no income tax if you’re a W-2er. But 1099-INT/1099-DIVers like me do have to pay tax on their interest income. Bummer! But Florida? A total skate! No income tax on either!! For me, a move to Florida would mean an extra $350 per month in cash. And next year it will be more! So now I know why all my jewish homies retire to Florida. It’s about the sheckles, schmuck! The scheckles!
Anyway, cheapskate notwithstanding, I ain’t about to bust a move to F-L-A no time soon. Florida sucks. I hate Florida. It would take more than a measly $350 per month to get me to move there. I’m thinkin’ the Catskills. Ya got mountains to climb…clean air…reservoirs and streams to fish. Plus ya lose the New York City tax (which cost me $150 per month for 2017) though you’re still stuck with the state. I’m not sure there are any golf courses up there but news flash: I don’t play golf! Which has an added benefit: No chance of running into a fat blowhard with orange hair if I stay off the links.
Speaking of the prez, I have to admit to liking one of his policies – that of making welfare recipients work for their money. How many hookers do you think I’ve known who made substantial amounts of cold cash off the books while hustling up free medical care (via Medicaid) for them and their out-of-wedlock children? Waaaay too many! I’m with the prez on this one. Freeloaders gots to pay!
That’s enough for today.