Years ago, an at-the-time advertiser called to say that one of her employees was a reality star. This kind of thing happens more often than you’d think. A girl shakes her booty in a rap video…opens an instagram account…and applies for employment on a reality show or two and before you know it, she’s almost famous. That fame may provide the girl with a sizable income. But as often as not, it doesn’t – and she’ll end up doin’ the flatbackin’ thing – as the pursuit of all this fame demands makeup, hair-do’s and often surgery to perpetuate the mythology.
So anyway…I google this girl’s real name and after finding clips from a VH1 reality show and her Instgaram account (which has four figures worth of followers), come to discover an article from a newspaper saying she’s dating J.R. SMITH, then of the New York Knicks. Too tickled, I just had to ask her “J.R. Smith. Really? He seems like such a huge party boy!”
A look of disdain flitted across her face and her immediate verbal reaction was and I quote “J.R. smokes too much weed!” I’m serious here. No “Yeah, J.R.’s got a big dick”…or “It’s all press bull shit. I don’t even know the guy”…or “I met him at a party and now after somebody took a pic, the world thinks we’re dating.” Nothing I was half-expecting. Just “J.R. smokes too much weed.” I didn’t pursue the conversation further.
Fast forward several years to last night. J.R. Smith is now in the NBA finals playing a distant banana to LEBRON JAMES, The King. I always believed what the girl had said years before because essentially, J.R. Smith plays like he smokes too much weed. While I liked him as a Knick, it was clear he was a befogged head case who could always figure out how to make some brain-dead move to lose a crucial game.
And sure enough, he did it last night. With 5 seconds left in the final quarter, J.R. got a rebound with the score tied. And rather than call an immediate time out or try to score, the dude dribbled the ball out to let time expire. As Lebron pleaded with him, you could see the look of confusion on J.R.’s face. Hard to say for sure. But it looked like he thought his team was ahead – hence the bizarre strategy given the circumstances.
Oops! Was it too much weed? Only J.R. knows for sure. Was it a surprise? Not to me. If ya told me to name the one guy from the 25 or so players in this final who could pull this bone-headed move, J.R. would sho ’nuff be the guy I’d figure. Which is why as shitty a team as the Knicks surely are, I never thought trading J.R. was a bad idea. Just something about him screams “I’m a merry fuck up.” And boy did he prove it last night. Cavs went on to lose the game and if anybody’s responsible, J.R. might be the guy.
Not really a problem for me. I don’t especially give a crap which team wins. But I bet there are a lot of Cleveland fans who are wondering “Is this guy smoking weed before the game? Like…how does a pro make a mistake like that?” Answer: Too much weed. Maybe the girl was right.