If I didn’t know it before all the legal drama that currently defines my life, I certainly do now. The authorities will go to considerable lengths to strengthen their case against a target. This reality first presented itself even before “the visit” (of five years ago).
An SEO guru told me I should link my Facebook account (which I barely used) with each and every blog post in order to maximize my Google rank. So following his instructions, I did just that without any odd mishaps until one day, twenty or so members requested to be my friend. It was only until I’d accepted the fifteenth or so that I noticed the girl I’d just friended was 15 years old!
Quickly I backtracked to discover that indeed, most of those prospective friends were underage. And I just as quickly unfriended everybody and closed the account. Previously, I’d received maybe one or two friend requests per week! And now suddenly 20 people – mostly underage – wanted to be my friends?!?! This was no coincidence. Years later, my lawyer informed me that the feds had researched me thoroughly and concluded that I am not a pedophile. Two questions: How much money do you think the gov spent researching that preposterous notion? And second, what part of selling escort advertising translates into me lusting for the company of children? I was not happy about the presumption and registered my dissatisfaction with all parties involved. Plus, it confirmed my suspicions about that transparent Facebook caper.
Literally on the third anniversary of “the visit,” I returned from volunteering to find a note on my door, left by a girl named Angie who was looking for work and claimed we’d met before. The note was written on what was clearly an office supply style piece of paper.
I knew it was bull shit right off. Very few advertisers from the business had ever visited my apartment. Getting through the front door wouldn’t be easy…I didn’t know any girls named Angie…and what escort has access to office stationery? So I had a friend who lives in Pennsylvania call the number she left in the message and he reported that the call went to an out-of-service line. My conclusion was that “somebody” was looking for my burner number and knew that given the number I was to dial wasn’t working, only one person would call that line. Whoever it was got an old cab driver in the deal.
And then about six months ago, it happened all over again. Very similar message – again, with a phone number. This one I called myself from one of those free street phones. And this time, there was a voice mail set up. I informed whomever that I was no longer in the business and wasn’t helping anybody get “work” – adding she should email me to let me know this wasn’t a law enforcement trap. Not surprisingly, I never received an email. In light of my current situation, I now understand what this was about. Convincing me to call back and send the prospective employee to someone who could put her to “work” would have been a gorgeous piece of evidence for the State.
Alas, it wasn’t to be. I may have been born a week ago…but I wasn’t born yesterday. But fear not for those who would root against me. The day of the “visit,” federal agents set a trap which I fell into as if I were born yesterday.