It was way back in 2001 or early 2002. I called Gina’s Dreamland on a Thursday afternoon to arrange the pickup for her weekly New York Press ads when Gina answered her phone to say “Guess who I have here!” It was DENNIS HOF! Allegedly, he was in the room with two girls. “Come on over. I’ll introduce you!” she offered before I ended the conversation.
Thirty minutes later I met Dennis for the first time. He had my escort publication under his arm – which is how he’d found Gina’s in the first place. She was one of my advertisers.
Dennis had a freelance writing gig for LARRY FLYNT at the time – an assignment to cover New York city fast houses. He wanted to follow me around the next day. And I wanted an intro to Flynt. He got what he wanted. And of course, I didn’t.
From then on, Dennis called me for a recommendation every time he came to New York. Sometimes he’d take me out to dinner. But he never hooked me up with Flynt. Oh well! At least I didn’t walk away totally empty-handed. Once he even took me to a $50 fast house and got me laid. Hooyah!
But Dennis and I fell out when he picked my brain about blogs and websites – and then hired one of his on-staff employees to do the webwork instead of me. Then he became an advertiser on this site and was like the half hour trick who wants to mount the girl for all 30 minutes – in several different positions – and then asks for a discount. It was too much. I evicted Dennis from the site and never spoke to him again. That was 3 years ago.
I knew Dennis wasn’t in great shape. On that day he followed me around 16 or 17 years ago, we had a short 4 block walk to make from one stop to the next. Dennis had to hail us a cab. He was diabetic…had had a big toe amputated because of the disease…and was in no way ready to hump 4 short blocks to the next destination. It was then that I knew he had significant health problems.
Just this past August 23rd, Dennis reached out to ask me how I was doing and to give him a call. I wasn’t in the mood. For that I am sorry. He wasn’t really that bad of a guy. I just didn’t like being used. Dennis died in his sleep this morning. May he rest in peace – and on a beach with five bikini-clad girls fanning him with palm fronds.
Right after hearing that news, somebody else called to tell me about a story in the Daily News. Another bust in the Korean community. And unless I missed something, it’s the guy who wanted to be me. I’d always wondered “If the authorities are so keen on apprehending me, why wouldn’t they go after this dude? He’s actually the bad guy they think I am!” Well anyway…enough about that. One paragraph was already too much time to spend on that hustler.
Back on the pantry front…I was the only regular volunteer today – and put in charge of eight 14 year-olds from a private school in Boston. It turns out that I’m really good with kids. Me – the guy the feds spent long hours and big dollars researching as a pedophile. Of course, the feds don’t know me. The people at the church do! That’s why they put me in charge of the kids. I happen to be the best person for the job. Go figure.